Rules For Living With Foxy and The Autobots
by CarsCars2Fanatic
Summary: *waves* Hi! Ever wonder what goes on when the cameras aren't barely focusing on Jazz's death? (Curse you, Michael Bay...) Well, this is here as a tell-all! Bayverse, with some G1 characters. BTW, Hound's G1 in here, because I started typing this before AOE. Yay for Ratchet and Ironhide being alive! And uber-yay for Jazz chillin' in most of the rules. Kplus for language, and flirtin
1. Chapter 1

**1. Foxy is not a morning person. Treat her as you would Ironhide if you need her awake.**

**(**They're both alike in one aspect-Capable of leveling the base if you put them in a bad mood. You've been forwarned.**)**

**2. If you want to live, don't demean Foxy by mocking her status as a female.**

**(**She's called 'Rage Femme' by the Terror Twins for a reason.**)**

**3. Just because Foxy lets Ironhide, Bumblebee, and Barricade call her their bitch does ****_not_**** mean you should.**

**(**You think she gets pissy when you wake her up, call her one and see what happens. I dare you.**)**

**4. Don't threaten Foxy. It will not work.**

**(**There are a select few she will even _listen to_, namely Optimus and Lennox.**)**

**(**Foxy: After being tortured, abused, beaten, captured, starved, and not to mention shot at, I'll give you a freakin' medal or something if you _do_ manage to successfully threaten me.**)**

**5. Don't climb the 'Bots without permission.**

**(**Foxy: Not only does it irritate them, but if you do it to Prowl there's a chance he'll glitch and come crashing down on top of you... Ouch. Not fun.**)**

**6. If you want to see a musical, get Foxy drunk.**

**(**Foxy: Is true. I can sing, I can dance... sort of, and if it doesn't make you laugh I don't know what does. XD**)**

**7. Don't tease Foxy about her size. She may be shorter then Jazz, but she's violent.**

**(**Foxy: I'm thirteen feet tall in bipedal mode, and Jazz calls me Little Bee for a reason. I'll give you such a sting you'll be in the medbay faster then you'll know what hit you. Not to mention you won't be leaving the medbay for a while, either.**)**

**8. The best way to get on Foxy's good side is with either coffee, bacon, or fried chicken.**

**(**Foxy: If they're together, they're even better. :D**)**

**9. To keep Foxy quiet, give her a sheet of bubble wrap.**

**(**Optimus: It works very well during meetings with liaisons. The popping can be muffled easily as well.**)**

**10. Don't let Foxy anywhere near insects.**

**(**Ratchet: She even so much as senses an insect, she promptly loses all forms of sanity. I didn't believe it was possible for humans to move as quickly as Blurr, but Foxy disproves that.**)**

**11. Don't leave Foxy outside during a thunderstorm.**

**(Short one-shot on this later.)**

**(**Foxy: Let's just say one of two things will happen. One, I'll flee blindly. Two, I'll try to wedge myself in the smallest space possible.**)**

**12. If you feel like a night of recharge due to Foxy insistently cuddling/snuggling with you, watch a horror movie with her.**

**(**Sides: I found this really cool one called 'Pet Sematary'. It had pets in it, so I figured she'd like it... *shakes helm* She wouldn't let go of my faceplates throughout the entire thing. Then, when it was over, she _insisted_ she recharge with me. I asked her why she didn't recharge with Jazz, and she said that Jazz wouldn't want to be pulled out of it. Seemed like a good answer, so I took her back to our quarters. She took up the whole berth, I was squished on the edge of it, and she _still_ insisted on cuddling!**)**

**13. No Furbies.**

**(**Foxy: There's a list of who these things freak out. Prowl, Red Alert, First Aid, Sunstreaker, me, even Bossbot. He says the eyes are 'eerie, in that they do not move, but they appear to register your presence anywhere in the room'. Well put as always, Optimus.**)**

**14. Don't scare Foxy excessively.**

**(**This is one of the easiest ways to get an accidental injury. For example-**)**

**(**Foxy: I was reading in a corner of the main hangar, and Skidz crept up on me. He roared right in my ear, and I screamed, flailed, then leapt into the air. Turns out, I'd flung my book right into his interfacing equipment while I was flailing. XD He dropped like a stone. When Ratchet heard what happened, he laughed. Very hard. XD**)**

**15. Don't 'play possum' with Ratchet. It won't work.**

**(**Neither will 'playing dead', 'faking sleep', or 'ragdolling'. He's got scanners that register your heart and breathing rates, not to mention body heat. He _is_ a medic, after all.**)**

**(**Foxy: He thanked me for not running after he'd scooped me off my couch. -_-**)**

**16. Don't dare Ironhide to do/not do something. He'll do/not do it just to spite you.**

**(**Foxy: Yup. He was threatening to blow my shoes to ash since they were so old, and guess what slipped out while I was yelling at him? 'Don't you dare!'**)**

**(**'Hide: I dared. Those were not foot coverings, those were a pathetic excuse for rubber and fabric.**)**

**(**Foxy: They were my first and favorite pair of Converse.**)**

**17. The puppy-dog pout only works on Bee, Blue, Hound, Whiplash, and Ironhide.**

**(**Foxy: Ironhide's only in the list because he can't say 'no' to Anna's. XD Otherwise, you're not his problem. Be warned, though. Bumblebee knows the ways of the Pout too, and may just use it on you in return. It's the most adorably sparkbreaking thing you'll ever see.**)**

**18. Fair warning: Foxy likes to snuggle, but only on her own time.**

**(**Foxy: I was pissed, and I guess Sides finally decided to snuggle me. Oops. I sent him to the medbay with some pretty deep claw marks in his chest plate.**)**

**19. Don't take away Law and Order:SVU, NCIS, CSI, Doctor Who, Star Trek Next Gen, Loony Toons, or Spongebob unless you want to start a riot.**

**(**Foxy: Ratchet tried banning SVU when I didn't stop watching it like he'd ordered... He learned that you don't mess with my crime dramas. XD Bee, why are Spongebob and Loony Toons in the list, dude?**)**

**(**Bumblebee: *whistling innocently, optics rolling up to the ceiling* _No idea!_ *grins innocently***)**

**(**Foxy: *arches an eyebrow at him* Uh-huh, sure. *smirks***)**

**20. Don't take away Foxy's music.**

**(**She loves that stuff just as much as Jazz. You clear everything out... well...**)**

**(**Foxy: I'll use your head as a disk on Jazz's deejaying table. Without the rest of you attached.**)**

**Here's my new story! I know some of you probably don't know who Foxy is, but if you'll look on my page, you'll see where she came from! The story involving how she met The Autobots will probably be up either tomorrow or the next day. Forewarning, it starts out in a different movie, then she ends up in the Bayverse. It's a crossover, CarsXTransformers. :) Hope you enjoy, and RandR, pretty please? With enough I can get my own Jazz plushie! *squee***


	2. Chapter 2

**21. No sugar.**

**(**You will be stuck chasing an absolutely-out-of-her-gourd Foxy around.**)**

**(**Ratchet: It's nowhere near as entertaining as it sounds. I can only fathom the havoc she could create if we were on the mainland and she escaped.**)**

**(**Not to mention that you'd have probably found her napping in one of those cloth awnings over a little corner deli in Detroit. XD**)**

**22. Foxy can and will curse you out in four different languages not counting English or Cybertronian if you make her angry.**

**(**Foxy: *grins* Spanish, German, Japanese, and Italian. If you're a human, you've got it slightly better then the 'Bots. The blissful ignorance is a wonderful thing. Not so much when they can translate everything you're saying thanks to the Internet.**)**

**(**Prowl: That wouldn't happen to be the reason why you called me a 'black and white pile of pig feces', would it?**)**

**(**Foxy: Because you pissed me off? Absolutely the reason.**)**

**23. Don't trigger Prowl's glitch.**

**(**Foxy: XD Let's count the ways. *pauses* On second thought, there's too many to count.**)**

**(**Prowl: Actually, there are two thousand four hundred and forty-three ways to trigger my glitch. Many of them pertain to the twins.**)**

**(**Foxy: Wow.**)**

**24. Don't tease Foxy about being a 'pleasure femme'. She will show you no mercy.**

**(**Foxy: It irritates me, even if it's harmless teasing, okay?! Sides did it, saying that I'd interface with everyone except him, and I promptly lost my shit. Ratchet needed to reattach his glossa. And most of his face.**)**

**25. Do give Foxy snuggles if she's depressed.**

**(**Foxy: Nothing works better then a good snuggle. Remember Rule 18 though. Only on my own time. XD**)**

**26. Do play music according to each 'Bot's tastes.**

**(**Foxy: There's stuff each of them like, and stuff they don't like. Ratchet goes for stuff like The Eagles and Billy Joel, Barriade likes grungy rock, Ironhide likes grungy rock and a little country here and there. Hound adores country, Bossbot prefers classical with a pinch of Metallica (One of their songs is called 'Orion', it's an instrumental), Jazz'll listen to just about anything even if he prefers hip hop, pop, rap, and of course jazz music. XD Bee's the same way as Jazz, he'll listen to just about anything but seems to gravitate towards the newer stuff, Sides likes anything with a good beat, Sunny likes anything he can flaunt himself to (XD), and Blue loves The Beatles. Lastly, the one some of you are waiting for... Me. In all honesty, I'll listen to anything if it's got a good beat and if it fits my mood. For example, I tend to use Nickelback for my cleaning needs, newer stuff for dancing, and country for long drives. ^^**)**

**27. If you sing 'It's a Small World', you've been forewarned.**

**(**Foxy: Sides learned this the hard way.**)**

**(**Sides: Ratchet still hasn't reattached my interfacing equipment! He says that you taught me a lesson!**)**

**(**Foxy: Good. I'll do it again if you play the song again. Trust me Sides, I'm definitely telling the readers this story.**)**

**28. Don't taunt Ratchet if he throws a wrench at you and misses because you ducked. He'll throw another one, and make sure he _doesn't_ miss.**

**(**Foxy: I like to metaphorically poke the sleeping tiger. A lot. XD That includes constantly bringing up the fact that he's missed me three times.**)**

**(**Ratchet: *standing behind Foxy with a wrench* I have yet to miss you a fourth time, Foxy. Would you like to try again?**)**

**(**Foxy: No, not really. I still need to type up these rules as punishment for calling Prowl a black-and-white pile of pig shit. Oops.**)**

**29. Don't touch Foxy's horse unless you want to lose a hand/servo.**

**(**Foxy: Anybody seen Lord of The Rings? Yeah, my stuffed horse is _my precious_. Touch the Precious, and you'll wish you hadn't gone on that adventure. I promise you.**)**

**30. Foxy has very sharp claws in the backs of her servos. She will not hesitate to use them.**

**(**Foxy: This is how I severed Sides' interfacing equipment in Rule 27. *evil grin* He knows now not to underestimate me. As do the 'Cons. Yet, both parties still do.**)**

**31. You will be kicked if you so much as brush against Foxy's feet.**

**(**Foxy: Tickle fights turn into 'dodge the flying feet of fury' the minute you dare tickle my feet. I'm _seriously_ ticklish there.**)**

**32. If Foxy acts in any way 'Normal', be concerned. If she's quiet, she's doing something she shouldn't be and KNOWS she shouldn't be doing it. If she's stressed, alert Ratchet.**

**(**A de-stressor in the form of a giant, lime-green medic. XD**)**

**33. Don't tease Ironhide about playing with Annabelle.**

**(**Foxy: It's really cute to watch him 'flee' from the 'fearsome dinosaur'. ^^ It wasn't me who did the teasing, because I like life. Sides, however, doesn't. He was in the medbay for five months after Optimus pulled 'Hide off him.**)**

**34. Don't turn your comlink off unless it's an absolute emergency.**

**(**Foxy: I just needed some time to think was all! I didn't know they'd go batshit when they got the ping that my comlink was off!**)**

**35. Don't call Foxy 'four eyes'. She'll use her hologram system to show you the literal meaning of the term.**

**(**Foxy: Giant horror-movie monster with four eyes that looks like Jabba the Hutt? That's what you'll get if you tease me about wearing glasses. It's not pretty.**)**

**36. Do not call Foxy a 'useless child'. You will have a pair of attack mechs on your aft.**

**(**Foxy: One word. _Simmons_. The bugger-fuck decided to tell it like he thinks it is. My two favorite mechs just so happened to be in hearing distance. I've never gotten so much joy from seeing Bumblebee and Jazz chasing Simmons in their vehicle modes. XD Why, you ask? Well, they chased him directly off base, and onto a busy road. They finally let up four hours later.**)**

**37. Do pet Foxy as you would a cat. She purrs!**

**(**Foxy: I do indeed. Bee loves it. ^^**)**

**38. Don't go around asking the 'Bots if they purr. **

**(**Foxy: I was curious. XD Bee's already purred before, Barricade has too, and Jazz growls, so I think he'd purr too. I didn't know if any of the others did, so I asked. Specifically, I asked Ratchet, Prowl, and Optimus. Optimus had somewhere he needed to be, Prowl glitched, and Ratchet doesn't know. XD He says he's never tried. I didn't ask Ironhide because I don't feel like being a crater in the ground.**)**

**39. Don't tease Ironhide about Foxy's rawhide bone.**

**(**Foxy: I've got a fox form that I use to go undercover sometimes, and a rawhide bone really helps in certain situations. Anyway, I was talking over the comlink with Jazz, commented on it, and he started laughing hysterically. I asked what was so funny, and here he thought I was chewing on a, and I quote, 'Raw Ironhide'. XD I asked him what the hell he was talking about, then I remembered that Ironhide's nickname is... '_Hide_. XD When said mech found out... he was less-then-pleased. XD**)**

**40. Do not tease Foxy about her fox form's sweaters.**

**(**Foxy: One of my undercover missions was to get into the Witwicky house, and my cover was as Sam's new pet. Judy got me bling (Which I can live with), but she also said that I needed sweaters, since it was cold. I've got a pile of fur thicker then a shag rug that coats my entire body, not to mention an abundance of it on my tail. -_- Besides the point. You decide to taunt, I decide to make your foot into a chew toy.**)**

**Really sorry, guys! I thought I'd have it up, but it's a REEEAAAAALLLLY long first chapter... actually, all of them are. XD I'll see what I can do about putting it up tonight, no promises though. Also, a big thank you to Fizzy21Cola and Katanna Cain for favoriting! :D I hope you guys like this one!**


	3. Chapter 3

**41. Foxy has been known to return favors done for her, if you get on her good side.**

**(**Foxy: That in itself is easy. I'd make friends with the whole world if I could. ^^ Not only do I return favors, but I guard too. Somebody givin' you trouble, you lead me to 'em, I'll wreck 'em to Cybertron and back. ^^**)**

**42. Do give Foxy back scratches. She'll love you for the next day and a half.**

**(**Foxy: Give or take a week. *smiles* It's awesome and anyone who says different has never been scratched by a giant finger that belongs to an unnamed *coughIronhidecough* mech. XD**)**

**43. Do give the Autobots' vehicle modes frequent washes.**

**(**Foxy: It's like a bath and a massage in one. However, there are spots to watch out for. Under the hood at the back, for one. Also, some of the younger 'Bots will bring their holograms up, swipe the hose, then drench you in ice-cold water. Sometimes they'll even shake their vehicle modes free of soap so it all lands on you. After all, they want to help you get a wash too. XD**)**

**44. Que is adept at helping solve relationship issues.**

**(**Foxy: Shit you not, the mech's like an inventor and Dr. Phil in one. XD Yet another reason I'll be with Que if I'm not with Ratchet, Jazz, or Bee. XD**)**

**45. Don't snap at anyone other then Ratchet if you need to vent.**

**(**Foxy: It doesn't end well. Ironhide snaps back, Bee walks around looking like a kicked puppy for almost a week straight, Jazz ignores you for about a week and a half, Barricade growls and threatens to crush you with a finger, Ratchet's really the only one you can vent to. I think it's because he understands the need to do it. XD**)**

**46. Don't touch Jazz's music.**

**(**Foxy: Sound familiar? The two of us are shockingly similar in musical laws.**)**

**(**Prowl: Musical laws? There is no such thing.**)**

**(**Foxy: Well okay, then I need to write some.**)**

**47. Don't give Foxy high-grade.**

**(**Foxy: It has a worse effect on me then regular alcohol does. XD Not only do I sing and sort-of dance, I'll ask you why you're purple and demand to swim with the fish, because I like to swim with the fish. Jazz told me this is what happened after he got me overcharged.**)**

**48. If Foxy wants to be left alone, do it.**

**(**Foxy: This one's for experimenting. I tend to lock myself in my quarters or hangar and not sleep for a while while I try to figure everything out. The only ones that're even allowed in are Optimus, Jazz, and Ratchet.**)**

**49. Threaten Annabelle, you'll have the majority of the Autobots plus Sarah and Will Lennox after you.**

**(**Foxy: Guess who's gonna be leading the charge? Ironhide, me, Sarah, and Will. _Nobody_ messes with 'Banana's human (my human).**)**

**50. All holograms must be monitored/approved by Optimus/Prowl.**

**(**Foxy: My go-to one's usually some sort of horse, since I love horses and if I weren't human-Autobot-Fox hybrid, I'd be a horse. XD Bee had me rolling one day. I challenged him to go all day with his hologram as one of the MM's characters with the eyes. Which one's he choose? Miss Chocolate. XD It was hilarious to watch, and even funnier when she opened her mouth. She chirped! XDXDXD**)**

**51. Don't question Foxy about her bag.**

**(**Foxy: It's a bit of Time-Lord technology. Yes, I know a Time-Lord. He's a very good friend of mine, and-**)**

**(**Ratchet: What she's trying to say is 'Unless you want a rambling explanation, it's better you do not ask.'**)**

**52. Sunstreaker and dogs don't mix. Neither do dogs and Mirage.**

**(**Foxy: I keep my dogs away from Sunny since I know he hates them, but I figured Mirage wouldn't be too bad. The first thing he says to me when he sees them? 'Why are you not-a hunting them?' I got the hell outta there, remembering at that point that Cyberhounds look like turbo-foxes, just like dogs look like foxes.**)**

**53. Trying to pair the 'Bots up with songs that fit them is entertaining and should be done whenever possible.**

**(**Foxy: My current favorite for Sunny is 'Milkshake'. XD Sideswipe's is 'Dare To Be Stupid', Ironhide's is 'Cowboys From Hell' by Pantera. It fits him so well, and the one guy in the song sounds just like him! I thought it was him at first! :O**)**

**54. When Foxy locks herself in her hangar or Que's lab... RUN.**

**(**Ratchet: We're not suggesting that something will explode... but when the two of them get together, things usually take a turn for the worse. Now, I need to get back to reattaching Que's right foot. Foxy dropped a 'sticky bomb' and it detonated.**)**

**55. Foxy is the only one who can get out of a mental exam.**

**(**Foxy: Ratchet already knows that I'm certifiably insane, so he doesn't bother anymore unless I'm acting 'Normal'. At that point, you know something's wrong. XD**)**

**56. Ratchet hates plungers.**

**(**Foxy: XDXDXD Ohhh, there's a _great_ story on this one. Ratchet tends to rant at me. A lot. And while he's ranting at me a lot, he seems to forget that humans don't like to be disturbed while getting a wash. So, he'll barge into the bathroom and rant at me from the other side of the shower curtain. The first time he did it, I freaked! The second time was the famous 'plunger incident'. It was the closest thing to my hand at the time, so I grabbed it, wound up, and chucked it. XD It landed on his helm and made him look like a unicorn. XDXDXD**)**

**57. Do show Hound the best way to get a bird to perch on your fingers.**

**(**Foxy: The mech loves animals, like I do, so I figured I'd help him out. I hooked him up with a whole bag of birdseed dumped in his open servo, and told him to be quiet and patient. Sure enough, ten minutes later, a cute little Goldfinch came and perched on his thumb. ^^ After about an hour, he had all sorts of bird friends. They were _everywhere_, his fingers, his shoulders, his arms, his helm, he even had a wild turkey perched on one of his feet. The highlight of the entire thing was when a hawk came and landed on his right shoulder. 'Pedro' looked really badass, even if he did scare all the other birds away. Hound loved it. XD**)**

**58. Jazz is very protective of Foxy.**

**(**Foxy: ^^ I've got a giant bodyguard! XD**)**

**59. Don't introduce Foxy to Galloway. The man's pants will be torn to shreds, and Foxy will need to pay for drowning his phone.**

**(**Foxy: I regret nothing. Especially not if it makes the 'Bots happy. ^^ Ironhide was so proud. ^^**)**

**60. Every man/mech for himself when Foxy rages.**

**(**Foxy: This one should be self-explanatory, but if not... just know this. Skidz and Mudflap upgraded my name from 'Rage Femme' to 'Super Rage Femme'. XD**)**

**Hi, guys! That story I mentioned in the first chapter of this has been uploaded! It's under CarsXTransformers crossover! Forewarning, it's kind of long, since it's all one scene. *nervous laugh* Also, a big thank you to serenabishop97 for favoriting my story! :D I'm glad you guys are liking this so much!**


	4. Chapter 4

**61. If you want to see 'Super Rage Femme' in action, lock Foxy and Starscream in a room together.**

**(**Foxy: After that display, Skidz and Mudflap will do anything to avoid getting me mad. Ironhide loved it, Ratchet thought it was ingenious, and Barricade won't stop grinning. Not to mention telling me I'm a 'good femme', and delivering a pat to my head whenever he sees me. XD**)**

**62. If you play a prank on Ratchet, be prepared for a retaliatory prank. The same goes for Ironhide.**

**(**Foxy: Ironhide got me good. Shaved my hair off, and made it look like crap. His excuse? 'It's hair, It doesn't harm her because it'll grow back.' Sadly, he's forbidden me from revealing what I've pranked him with, so all I've got is my prank on the medic. *evil grin***)**

**(**Ratchet: Do it, and I'll make sure humiliation is the _least_ of your worries.**)**

**63. Don't steal Ratchet's wrenches.**

**(**Foxy: Wasn't me, Prowl. I can't even grab one, much less _lift_ one. XD Was probably Sides, Sunny, or Jazz. They like to do senseless stuff like this.**)**

**(**Prowl: As do you. *watching her carefully***)**

**64. Don't fiddle with Ironhide's cannons if you don't know what you're doing.**

**(**Foxy: I like life, so this one wasn't me. There's also the added aspect that I have enough common sense to realize how badly this could potentially go. This one was Skidz, the idiot. He wanted to modify one of Ironhide's cannons to shoot marshmallows as a prank. Turns out, he actually increased the power output of it, while at the same time making it more efficient to fire. Ironhide was furious, and he fired it at Skidz. When it splattered Skidz against the wall of a hangar, 'Hide looked at it for a second, then looked back at Skidz before giving him a smug grin and going off to play with his improved toy. XD I've never seen 'Hide that happy before, it was a little scary.**)**

**65. Bumblebee is always up for a good snuggle.**

**(**Foxy: It doesn't matter if it's three in the morning and you woke him up by accident, if you need a snuggle he's your mech. Best part is, he won't put you down until _he_ thinks you're okay. No amount of trying to tell him you're fine works. You're stuck being cuddled by an adorable yellow 'Bot that's warbling and nuzzling you until he thinks you're feeling better. *sarcasm, while grinning* It's awful. ;D**)**

**66. Don't call the 'Bots 'Robo-Dudes', 'Alien Invaders', or 'Robo-freaks'.**

**(**Foxy: I'll be on your ass so fast you'll think I'm the floor you were sitting on. These 'Bots are family to me, and if you're going to call them shit like that, it pisses me off. Even if you're joking, it's not a joke to me. Keep that in mind, so you don't end up saying something you regret, because I will show you _no_ mercy.**)**

**67. Yes, Foxy has a 'hero complex'. Do not ask her about it repeatedly.**

**(**Foxy: I can't help it, I need to save everyone that's in trouble, there. It's out of my hands. It's my weakness. It gets me into Ratchet's medbay a lot. Like, _a lot_ a lot.**)**

**(**Ratchet: *grumbling* More then that.**)**

**68. Barricade and Frenzy have changed sides! Stop calling them Decepticon scum!**

**(**Foxy: I'll vouch on this one. They're both my roomies, and they're awesome. You gotta problem with them, that's a problem with me. And what happens if you've got a problem with me? Ask Starscream. He's still being repaired after we were locked in a room together, and it's been about seven months since then. So... yeah. You're better off accepting my roomies, otherwise I'll show you how good I am at fighting.**)**

**69. Compliment Sunstreaker often.**

**(**Foxy: I swear, compliments are like lifeblood to the dude, he feeds off them. XD I'll always give him sarcastic compliments, and he never realizes it. XD He thinks I'm being serious. That, or he's just got such an ego that he only hears my words, not my tone. XDXDXD**)**

**70. Mirage and Jolt aren't being anti-social, they prefer watching from afar.**

**(**Foxy: Jolt's a nasty fucker though. He's pranked me beyond good more then a few times. XD I've woken up more then once with Cybertronian glyphs painted on the backs of my sweatshirts that say stuff like 'I'm a quadri-nipple triple changer, ask me about it!', or 'I love dogs. For breakfast.', and 'I would absolutely love to be kicked by a 'Bot.', among others. I know it's him, the jerk, but we can't _prove_ that it's him! He's always accounted for!**)**

**71. Jazz gives awesome hugs.**

**(**Prowl:... Why is this a rule?**)**

**(**Foxy: Because, as a rule, Jazz gives awesome hugs. It's a rule, Prowl.**)**

**(**Jazz: *grins***)**

**(**Prowl: How did you get in here, Jazz? The door was locked.**)**

**(**Foxy: Updated rule! Jazz doesn't just give awesome hugs, Jazz _is_ awesome.**)**

**72. The 'Bots think 'Ankle Hugs' are hilarious.**

**(**Foxy: It's our small size. Since we can barely reach to their kneebolts, running and latching onto their ankles while shouting 'Surprise ankle hug!' is hysterical, but only if you catch the 'Bot in a good mood. And they aren't a moving Sideswipe. Or Sunstreaker or Mirage. Even Ironhide's cool with Anna doing it, it's the cutest thing ever. Bossbot's the greatest to do it to though, him and Ratchet. Ratchet'll start laughing, then stomp around until you think you'll fall off before lifting his feet up really high so you go flying into the air. He always catches me when he does it though, so we keep doing it. XD Optimus chuckled a little, then lets you ride around on his foot if he doesn't have meetings to go to. ^^ That's why I always try to find him at the end of a particularly stressful (for him) day. Nothing says 'Feel better' like an ankle hug. XD**)**

**73. Foxy doesn't like it when you follow her into the bathroom while ranting to her, Ratchet.**

**(**Foxy: Thanks for posting this, Prowl. It's gotten to the point where I'm okay with his hologram being on the other side of the shower curtain. That's not a good point to be at.**)**

**74. Do find ways to keep Foxy occupied.**

**(**Ratchet: This isn't as difficult as it sounds. Merely a good number of cardboard boxes, bubble wrap, drawing supplies and a few books are enough to keep her quiet for an entire day.**)**

**(**Foxy: My inner child refuses to be crushed. I'm happy about that, because it lets me do fun stuff more easily. Like jumping out of empty shipping crates and shouting 'Surprise jumpscare!'.**)**

**75. Bluestreak loves a good race.**

**(**Foxy: I do too. So do Jazz, Bee, Sides, and Sunny, even though he only races on the road. Primus forbid that his _lustrous_ golden paint be marred by exposed silver metal from a single scratch.**)**

**(**Sunstreaker: It _is_ lustrous, isn't it?**)**

**76. Ratchet has claimed Foxy as a pet. He will still deny knowing anything about it.**

**(**Foxy: It won't be long before even the mighty Bossbot will be treating me as a favorite cat, allowing me to sit on his lap and petting me while we plot ways to send the Decepticons packing or create a peace treaty. *evil laughter* Prowl even lets me hide on his lap to escape from Sides sometimes.**)**

**(**Prowl: That does not pertain to this rule.**)**

**(**Foxy: *smirks* Apparently Ratchet's not the only one who denies they treat me like a favorite pet. I'm currently curled up on Prowl's lap, under the afghan he keeps in his desk. ^^**)**

**77. Que is the only one allowed to call Foxy 'Beth'. All others will be decimated.**

**(**Foxy: My human name is 'Elizabeth'. I go by Lizzie, Liz, Foxy, Foxfire, L-Z, Little Bee, Rage/Super Rage Femme, or Mutt. Nice to meet you, and if you call me Beth I'll rip your innards out through your nose. Kapish? *grins innocently* Sides called me 'Beth' once. I was just about to gut the screaming twin when Ratchet called me off. Dammit. It was actually really funny, too. Right as I was going in with my claws, I heard 'Heel', and the next thing I knew, I was sitting in the brig for attacking Sides.**)**

**78. Fleeing from Ratchet will get you nowhere.**

**(**Foxy: Trust me on this. I've tried it, and if I can't outrun him, no human can. It's easier to just accept your medical exam and get it over with... who the hell am I kidding? Hide, don't run! You're an idiot if you run, hide somewhere he can't reach with his hologram- *falls sideways out of her chair, hit with a tranquilizer dart***)**

**(**Ratchet: *enters and lifts Foxy up, then heads for the door* You're next, _Prowl_.**)**

**79. Bumblebee likes to watch the human soldiers fish. If you find him watching you, don't be alarmed.**

**(**Foxy: XD My fault, sort of. The 'Bots and me went back to my town for a visit, and my kids wanted Jazz and Bee to watch me fish. XD Not sure why, I always throw them back. Turns out, Bee loves fishing! Scared me shitless when I first found him crouched on the dock behind me. His helm was two inches from my own. XD It was cute, in an 'I-didn't-even-know-you-were-stalking-me' sort of way. XD He freaked Epps out when the first time he did it to him. XD Bee gets so excited when I catch one, it's the funniest thing ever. I've created a monster! XDXDXD**)**

**80. Jazz looks for any opportunity to hold a breakdancing contest.**

**(**Foxy: Unless you want to be sore, humiliated, and possibly concussed from too much head-spinning, avoid even mentioning the word 'break-dancing'. Or implying in any way that you're good at it. He'll show you that you suck. I'm the only one that can even remotely keep up with him, and that's only because I steal some of his moves and incorporate them into my own flow. XD Dude's got more skills then I've got friends, and that's saying something, since I consider the whole world as friends I've never met yet. XD**)**

**Happy Thanksgiving, to those of you who celebrate! :D I'm sorry this one's a bit late, I'm using a borrowed computer and the owner needed it all day yesterday. :( A big thank-you to JoySalvatore1 for favoriting and following my two new stories, and me as well! You're a wonderful person, really you are! That's not the only one who deserves a thank you though, Bunny's daughter is _also_ favoriting and following both me and my stories! Thank you both, very much! It really means a lot to me, and I'm glad you readers are liking these! :D The next chapter of All Cars To Battle should be up soon, same problem as this story. :/ I miss my own computer. **


	5. Chapter 5

**81. Always quote 'The Hangover', 'Doctor Who', 'Star Trek Next Gen', 'Star Wars', and 'Spongebob'.**

**(**'_Paging Dr. Faggot! Dr. Faggot!_'**)**

**(**Foxy: Ratchet doesn't appreciate being paged this way. *shivers whenever she spies a wrench***)**

**(**'_Will you_ please_ put some pants on? I feel weird having to ask you twice._'**)**

**(**Foxy: ...How drunk was I that, in the recording of one of my birthday parties, you can hear Ratchet saying this? And the worst part is my answer. 'I don't know where they are.' XDXDXD My Primus, I was absolutely wasted. XD Funnily enough, I woke up the next morning in Jazz's arms... _still_ not wearing pants. Apparently, none of us found them.**)**

**(**'_There's a jungle cat in the bathroom!_'**)**

**(**Foxy: Another 'How drunk was I' moment. Jazz, who was enlisted to keep an optic on me so nothing happened to me, says I went into my bathroom, then came running out screaming jibberish. This was the first thing he says he could make out. I seemed pretty insistent, so he went into check, and goes, 'Holy fuck, you're not kidding! There's a tiger in there!' He says that I wouldn't use it for the rest of the day. XD**)**

**(**'_It's all a bunch of wibbly-wobbly... timey-wimey... stuff._'**)**

**(**Foxy: Ratchet, you're legendary, just... I am not worthy.**)**

**(**'_Geronimo!_'**)**

**(**Foxy: Sideswipe screamed this immediately before charging into battle with his sword held aloft... I'm not sure if I love him for this or if I'm still mad at him for screwing with me so many other times.**)**

**(**'_EXTERMINATE!_'**)**

**(**Foxy: We can't say this one on base anymore. It freaks-**)**

**(**Prowl: *staring at Foxy carefully* One more word, and you are in the brig for a _vorn_, Foxfire.**)**

**(**Foxy: *nods, zips a finger across her lips, then throws the invisible zipper over her shoulder***)**

**(**'_Lieutenant Commander Data, status report._'**)**

**(**Foxy: I said this to Jazz, just to see what he'd do, and his response was gold. He goes-**)**

**(**Jazz: *grins* Th' bass dropped, sir. *plays a Dubstep bass drop***)**

**(**'_Send out the droidekas!_'**)**

**(**Foxy: This was my battle cry. Even some of the 'Cons looked at me strangely. XD**)**

**(**'_Oh, hello. I am C-3PO, human-cyborg relations._'**)**

**(**Foxy: I was mocking Galloway behind his back with Sides when this popped out. The two of us had to leave before our laughter interrupted the meeting. XD**)**

**(**'_Yeah, well, a droid don't rip people's arms off when they lose. Wookies tend to do that._'**)**

**(**Foxy: This was how Sides introduced me to the new recruits. XD I just chuckled, put my arms behind my head, then leaned back against the hangar whilst giving them an evil grin. They looked at me for a while, then one of them called up to Sides: 'Is she a _real_ Wookie?' To prove it, I demonstrated a Wookie call for them. They think I'm a god now. That... or they're really afraid of me. :D**)**

**(**'_I sense a great disturbance in the Force._'**)**

**(**Foxy: Right after I said this, Miles farted. Really loudly, and for at least ten seconds. Him, me, and Bee nearly pissed ourselves laughing for fifteen minutes afterwards. 'Cause, y'know. We're mature like that.**)**

**(**'_Hedow. Meesa called Jar-Jar Binks._'**)**

**(**Foxy: I greeted one of the recruits like this when I saw him in the hallway. He laughed and quoted the movie. he goes, 'How'd you end up here with us?' My response was amazing. 'My no know. Meesa startin' da mornin' pretty okiday wit a brisky mornin' munchen. Next ding me 'member, was gettin' berry scared, grabbin' dat Jedi, den pow! Meesa here.' He agreed completely. The two of us talk like Jar-Jar if we see each other now. XD**)**

**(**'_I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready!_'**)**

**(**Foxy: XDXD I was watching tv, and a commercial for a new season of Doctor Who came on. I started chanting this, and Ratchet, who was in the room with me, decided to tell me to shut up... in his own way. He goes, 'Are you ready for a mental exam, as well? That is what you will get if you do not _SHUTUP!_' I went 'I'm not ready! I'm not ready! I'm not ready!', then shut up in a hurry. XD**)**

**(**'_Firmly grasp it in your hand. _Firrrmly _grasp it._'**)**

**(**Foxy:... You don't wanna know the details. Just know that it involved Ratchet, and wrenches. *shudders***)**

**(**'_Meow!_'**)**

**(**Foxy: Don't ask me why Jazz just blurted this out in the middle of a meeting. XD Honestly, imagine this. He's leaning back in the chair, tipping it on two legs, wearing this shit-eating grin, and randomly goes 'Meow!' XDXD I nearly went into stasis I was trying not to laugh so badly. To make it better, Prowl's glare rivals Ratchet's, something that's hard to accomplish.**)**

**(**'_What's so great about dumb old Texas?_'**)**

**(**Foxy: Sides was lounging on the couch in the rec room watching tv, when Prime said we had to go to Texas for a battle with the 'Cons. In the middle of summer! Sides pulled this gem out, complete with a shrug.**)**

**(**'_Plankton!' 'Krabs!' 'Plankton!' 'KRABS!' 'Spongebob!_'**)**

**(**Foxy: Ratchet, me, and Bee. XD Ratchet was ranting and raving about plankton, so I went 'Krabs!'. He gave me a glare then said, 'Plankton!', like he was correcting me. XD I went 'KRABS!', and before he could reply, Bee poked his helm in and went 'Spongebob!' We had to dodge a shitton of wrenches, but it was so worth it to make Ratchet pissy.**)**

**(**'_It may be stupid, but it's also dumb!_'**)**

**(**Foxy: I was trying to preach my case on something to Ratchet, and sometimes my mind moves faster then my mouth. This popped out before I could stop it, and he started laughing. Worst part of it all was, he agreed with me once he stopped. *pout***)**

**(**'_Twenty-four._'**)**

**(**Foxy: Me, Jazz, Sides, and Bee were all sitting in a meeting near each other, and I was bored. So, I go 'Hey, psst', and they all glance over at me. Jazz goes 'Yeah?' in a whisper, and I grin. 'Twenty-four.' was all I said, and he and Bee were cracking up. Sides, who was on Jazz's other side, finally got the joke and started grinning. After we'd regained control of ourselves, he leans in a bit, so Prowl doesn't see, and goes 'I thought of something funnier then twenty-four.' Knowing what was coming, I grinned at him and went 'Lemme hear it.' His response? 'Twenty-_fiiive_.' We promptly lost it, and our explosion of laughter scared Prowl. XD He put us in the brig afterwards, but it was completely worth it. XD**)**

**(**'_You know what Spongebob? Life's just a bunch of fancy assorted cashews for you, isn't it? There's nothing to dust, or to clean, or FABRICATE!_'**)**

**(**Foxy: I guess Prowl's patience with me finally snapped, because he yelled this at me. I'm not sure which I was more shocked about. Prowl yelling at me, or throwing a Spongebob reference in my face. Spongebob!**)**

**(**'_LEEDLE LEEDLE LEEDLE LEE!_'**)**

**(**Foxy: I was ranting at Sides because he'd provoked me, and I went 'Well a LEEDLE LEEDLE LEEDLE LEE to you too, you fragging excuse for a mech!', not realizing that he was recording it. I didn't understand why he was laughing so hard until he replayed my rant for me. XD**)**

**(**'_I'm Dirty Dan!_'**)**

**(**Foxy: Sides was trying to goad me into fighting with him, and I did so, happily. We were arguing over who was Dirty Dan, something he started explicity because he knew I'd get pissed off. So, he kept saying he was Dirty Dan, and I jumped right in, saying I was Dirty Dan, and we carried on for about half an hour before I finally screamed, like actually screamed in rage before yelling '_DAMMIT, I'M DIRTY DAN! DEAL WITH IT!_' Ratchet came running in at my scream, and demanded to know who the _real_ Dirty Dan was. I pointed to Sides.**)**

**82. Some 'Bots are scarily fascinated by fire. Don't let them near it.**

**(**Foxy: The list of pyromaniacs on base is strange. Que, Ironhide, Sunstreaker for whatever reason, Barricade, Frenzy, and to a lesser extent, me. XD I love playing with it, tossing acorns into it and hearing them pop, then roasting sticks and leaves and stuff. Ratch says that my level of pyromania isn't dangerous yet, so I'm happy about that. XDXD**)**

**83. Do race on the back roads, instead of the main ones.**

**(**Foxy: But don't get caught by the cops. Or Prowl. He'll follow you until you go back to base, which you know you're going to have to. Barricade, on the other hand... He'll play 'Cops and Robbers' with you. XD It's hilarious to see a police car flying down the street after you and bumping your rear bumper with its front one. XD**)**

**84. Don't rile Ratchet, then run and hide. He'll chase after you, then drag you kicking and screaming into the medbay.**

**(**Foxy: Trust me, I've tried this. He's also one of the medics/doctors where, if you need to be sedated and you won't come quietly, he'll do it right there. It doesn't matter if you're in a meeting or trying to run off base to get away from him. He'll bring that needle out and emwham/em! He's probably making it worse.**)**

**(**Prowl: Making what worse?**)**

**(**Foxy: 0.0 Absolutely nothing.**)**

**85. Foxy knows everything about history, and automobiles. Be prepared for an hour-long ramble if you inquire as to when a vehicle was made.**

**(**Ratchet: We've been trying to limit her to once a week, but it doesn't seem to work. *looks over at Foxy***)**

**(**Foxy: *babbling like Blurr* -Did you know that the Ford Mustang name actually came from the P-51 Mustang fighter jets they used in World War 2? That's really incredible! They did that because people were all about planes, and jets, and rockets! Oh, that's why the taillights on fifties cars look like rocketship afterburners, because people liked space, and they wanted their cars to reflect that, isn't that cool- *slumps over suddenly***)**

**(**Ratchet: *finishes sedating Foxy* Sadly, that is the only thing that works.**)**

**86. Supervise Foxy when she works with Que.**

**(**Foxy: Not my fault that Energon-attracted sticky bomb. We designed it to only hone in on Energon, so there'd be less damage if it was thrown and missed a Cybertronian. At least we know it works, since I dropped it three feet from Que's foot.**)**

**87. Don't ask Foxy about 'snow balls'. She will pointedly ignore you.**

**(**Foxy: First Bee, then Ironhide, now Sides. I don't know why I bother telling them about winter and snow anymore! Honestly, they all think I'm talking about snow testicles!**)**

**88. No, Foxy and Bluestreak are NOT siblings. Stop asking.**

**(**Foxy: I'm a blue-with-black-stripes classic Mustang, Blue's a black-with-blue-stripes new Mustang. Okay, we got it? Good. We're not siblings. He's older then I am by about a zillion years, and he's got wings. I don't. Honestly, even Blue's stopped telling people we're not. The only reason we're both Mustangs and have similar color combos is because I got my vehicle mode before I saw him, and I liked the Mustang I'd found.**)**

**89. It takes a lot to get Optimus upset.**

**(**Foxy: But when he does... Oh, holy hell. I pity you. Prime will literally spell out your death for you and you won't even know it, just because he's that regal. It's frightening how many times he's done this to Galloway, but the man still doesn't get it. He gets it when _I_ tell him though. *feral grin while playing with my claws***)**

**(**Prowl: *gives her a scolding look* Foxfire, stop.**)**

**(**Foxy: *stops, tucks her helm down* Yes, Prowl.**)**

**90. Don't get into a snark war with Ratchet, you'll lose. Horribly.**

**(**Foxy: To this day, not even I can win against him. He'll snark and sass you all day, just to keep the title of reigning champ of snide. XD I've picked up quite a few tricks from him. XD**)**

**91. Imitating Optimus Prime when you think you're alone is not a good idea.**

**(**Foxy: Whoopsies. Optimus, Ironhide, Prowl, and Ratchet were all away for a mission, and I don't know why I thought going into an empty hangar and starting to order an invisible 'Bot around was a good idea. XD Yes, I tried as hard as physically possible to get his tone right, and his stance, I think I was having fun. XD Worst of all, Sideswipe was the 'Bot I decided to order around, and guess who was recording the entire thing from outside the hangar? He told me afterward that he's got video of me striding around like Optimus does, not to mention me fashioning a throne from a pile of shipping crates and sitting on it while ordering the invisible Sides around. XD He's got a shitton of blackmail that he can send to Prime if I don't stop whaling on him during pranks. I've come close a few times, but I remember exactly what he's got footage of me doing, and I restrain myself.**)**

**92. Don't question Foxy. She's not even sure what she's doing half the time.**

**(**Foxy: *smirks* More then half, Prowl. I am a textbook case of 'lunatic and loving it'. Putting Prime in a thong? Check. Staying up for three nights straight trying to work out a formula for the Energon sticky bombs? Check. Wanting a clone? Check. XD I'm going to stop, for Prowl's sanity.**)**

**(**Prowl: *dangerously close to glitching***)**

**93. Don't crack your back around Ratchet.**

**(**Foxy: You'll get scolded into next week by a pissed-off medic. XD I still do it to piss him off because I love him. XDXDXD**)**

**94. Don't ask Ratchet about Foxy's late-night dancing escapades. He'll be more then happy to show you.**

**(**Foxy: He's got video of me doing the Chicken Dance at two in the morning, nothing too spectacular. He still uses it as blackmail though-Sorry, _modified_ blackmail. He'll show it to anyone that asks to see it. XD**)**

**95. Don't get in a snowball fight with Ironhide. You'll lose, horribly.**

**(**Foxy: I've been in several, and I get my ass handed to me every time. I can live with it though, since he shoves a snowball down the back of my shirt every time I complain. Sometimes I think we're all overgrown toddlers, and I'm sure Bossbot would agree with me. XDXDXD**)**

**96. Don't mention the word 'party' around Jazz. **

**(**Foxy: Or me, for that matter. I never say no to a good place to get my groove on. *grin***)**

**97. Don't throw Foxy in a pile of hay.**

**(**Foxy: Unless you feel like listening to me sneeze my brains out for the next half an hour. XDXD They get loud, too, just letting you guys know now. Picture an elephant trumpeting, and the sound ricocheting off a mountain. That's what my loudest sneeze sounds like. XD Ratchet said that he can hear me from across the island. XDXDXDXDstrong**)**

**98. Don't call Barricade 'Uncle Barricade', 'Barri', 'Uncle Cade', or 'Crusty Old Mech'.**

**(**Foxy: He hates all of them, but lets the kids call him Uncle Barricade or Uncle 'Cade. It's really cute. I called him Uncle Barricade once, and he growled at me. XDXD BTW, he's not related to me or the kids, he's my roomie and the kids adore him, so I came up with it to piss him off.**)**

**99. Don't call Ironhide 'Ironass', 'Ironaft', 'Iron Mech' or 'Iron Man'. You will get shot at.**

**(**Foxy: *giggles* Skidz called him 'Ironaft' one morning when the idiot didn't want to train. Ironhide leveled the cannon Skidz souped up in the 'Bot's direction and started warming it up. Skidz ran for the training room with his tail between his legs. XDXDXD**)**

**100. Don't call Ratchet 'The Hatchet', 'Hatch', 'Wrench-Wielder', 'Wrench-Chucker', or 'The Mad Medic'.**

**(**Foxy: Primus, does he get mad! He's The Mad-**)**

**(**Prowl: He's right behind you.**)**

**(**Foxy: *stiffens* He's a very angry medic. And he does not like being called those names. *trying not to panic***)**

**(**Ratchet: *leaves the room, chuckling darkly***)**

**Ratchet, you evil bastard. XDXDXD A big thank-you to Sideswipesgirl78 for favoriting and following not only me, but this story too! :D Another thank you to Jazzy The Jazz, who's done the same! :D You guys rock! I don't own any of the movies-slash-shows I used in the first rule, although I do have all six Star Wars movies. ^^ Thanks for reading, guys!**


	6. Chapter 6

**101. Don't call Jazz short, or imply it in any way. **

**(**Foxy: He's hell to deal with if you do. And guess what? I won't stop him. XD You deserve it for calling him short.**)**

**102.** **Don't call Prowl 'Prowler', or 'Prowlie'.**

**(**Foxy: He'll throw you in the brig. It's a mistake I may make a few more times, just because 'Prowlie' sounds cute. ^^ Like 'Jazzy' or 'Hide'. ...Don't tell Ironhide I said that. He'd kill me until I'm dead, then kill me some more.**)**

**103. A sad Bumblebee/Foxy is a sparkbreaking thing to behold.**

**(**Foxy: You make us sad, you'll see nothing but the puppy-dog pout and hear nothing but whimpering for days. That's all it'll take before someone snaps and cheers us up.**)**

**104. Don't set off fireworks around Foxy or Ironhide. The mech thinks he's under attack, while the human thinks she's about to die.**

**(**Foxy: Some soldiers wanted to set fireworks off on base for the Fourth of July. Lennox approved it, because, hello, support for the States? Well… nobody told me they were starting it on the Third and carrying it over to the Fourth. Hell, nobody told me we'd be doing fireworks at all!**)**

**(**Prowl: I discovered her cowering under my desk, huddled up in the corner farthest from the door.**)**

**(**Foxy: Y'know how a dog will sometimes go and hide from loud noises? *raises hand* I do the same thing. It still freaks me out, it's like mortar shells from hell! _Two days!_ Two days of this torture!**)**

**(**Prowl: I needed to comlink Jazz to retrieve you, and Ratchet to sedate you.**)**

**105. If you come across Foxy lying flat-out and face-first on the floor, don't worry. She's just bored.**

**(**Foxy: I'll do this if someone tells me to do something non-destructive. I freaked Prowl out the first time I did it when he was around. XD**)**

**106. Don't show Sunstreaker and Sideswipe the 'Old Spice' commercial.**

**(**Foxy: They adore it a little too much. They've taken to reciting it to me, Whiplash, and any other female that Sideswipe likes. XD It's been going on for a few weeks, and I'm still not sick of it, just because Sides really gets some good poses going. XD**)**

**(**Sides: Hello, femmes. Look at your man, now back to me, now back to your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn't me, but if he stopped using femmes' scented body wash, and switched to _Bot Spice_, he could smell like he's me. Look down, back up, where are you? You're on the base with us 'Bots and the mechs your man could smell like. What's in your hand? Back to me. I have it, it's an Energon cube with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now Allspark shards that'll grant you the power to become one of us. Anything is possible when your man smells like _Bot Spice_ and not a femme. I'm on a Hound. *sitting on Hound's shoulders***)**

**(**Foxy: See what I mean? XD**)**

**107. If you can't sing, and you try it in front of Jazz, he ****_will_**** tell you that you suck. **

**(**Foxy. XD Leo. The kid's sitting in a chair trying to sing 'It's Raining Men' by The Weather Girls and doing _horribly_ when Jazz pokes his helm in the room and asks, 'The Pit? Somethin' gettin' tortured in here?' I pointed silently at Leo, grinning wickedly, and Jazz grinned before creeping up behind Leo. Right when Leo got to the part where it goes, 'Tall, blonde, dark and lean! Rough and tough and strong and mean!' Jazz joined in, with the perfect high-pitch and everything. Leo fell off his chair when Jazz really got into it. XD Leo's afraid of Jazz now. Me, on the other servo… *grins wickedly* I love my mech.**)**

**108. Don't compare Foxy to a pin-up girl. She'll want your head/helm on a plate.**

**(**Foxy: Wheelie did this once. Key word, 'ONCE'. I think he leaked himself. XD**)**

**109. Don't play the Caramelldansen around Ratchet.**

**(**Foxy: *laughs evilly* Oh, so much blackmail. Sadly, I'm forbidden from speaking about this, otherwise I get my weapons privileges revoked unless we're in a battle. I like my claws, so I'm not saying a word.**)**

** doesn't like 'Stacy's Mom' played when certain 'Bots have a view of her aft.**

**(**Foxy: It leads to wolf-whistling, catcalls, and just generally crude comments. It's better to avoid grabbing a stick with which to beat the trussed-up messenger.**)**

**111. If you even look like you're thinking about hurting the kids, Foxy will attack.**

**(**Foxy: This is loyalty at its finest. Ratchet calls it 'Carrier Mode gone Rage Femme'. XD A truer name hasn't been spoken.**)**

**112. The best way to tire Foxy out is to challenge her to a tennis match.**

**(**Prowl: I never challenged you! Why do you insist on rebounding a tennis ball off my armor with a racket?!**)**

**(**Foxy: You pissed me off. And since you said I can't swear at you, I'm doing the next best thing. Irritating you.**)**

**113. Foxy is claustrophobic.**

**(**Foxy: Sad but true. Sideswipe tried to figure out an easier way of getting me to the Lennox's, and came up with the brilliant idea to seal me inside a tiny box, then send me through the mail. How it worked I'll never know, but I do know that at the first sign of light I popped up screaming. Scared Will and Ironhide shitless. XD Tell you the truth, I scared myself, too.**)**

**114. Don't play 'I'm Sexy and I Know It' around Ratchet.**

**(**Foxy: *laughs wickedly* Ahh, this one pertains to my prank on our wonderfully-angry medic, dear Ratchet-o. Hint, hint, rule 62. XD I've got such wonderful blackmail, and it's all thanks to Ratchet.**)**

**115. Ironhide doesn't appreciate 'Truck Yeah' by Tim McGraw being used to 'summon' him.**

**(**Foxy: This is my fault. XD It's got a great beat, and he's a truck, so it fits. XD He says he doesn't like it, but he keeps on coming whenever he hears it. XDXDXD He's got nobody to blame except himself. XD**)**

**116. The 'Bots (Except Bumblebee) dispise playing with Barbies with a ****_vengeance_****.**

**(**Foxy: The only reason Bee likes it is because he practically lives with my kids, so he's used to it. Jazz hauls aft whenever he ever hears the _word_ Barbie. XD Ratchet complains how they're anatomically incorrect, then wants nothing more to do with them. Prowl… *turns to Prowl* You never gave me your opinion on them. Care to share?**)**

**(**Prowl: No.**)**

**117. If you happen to be injured and brush it off to continue battling, Ratchet will be furious, and it's doubtful you'll get out of the medbay for an even longer time then you would've originally.**

**(**Foxy: It's like his own personal version of the brig. Except you're stuck in there listening to him rant and rave about how stupid you were, not to mention trying to dodge flying tools. XD I… might've been on the receiving end of stuff like this more then a few times. XD**)**

**118. Foxy is paranoid already, don't make her even more so.**

**(**Foxy: I'm inching closer to the 'Red Alert' level every night. Last night, I freaked and ran to Jazz because I heard a noise. -_- It was the heater in my quarters, at least that's what he says. I still think it was someone trying to get in through the vents. Sideswipe doesn't help by telling me the government keeps sending liaisons to spy on me in secret.**)**

**119. If you can't find Foxy, she doesn't want to be found. However, she often roosts under the dock, on the beach, with Jazz or Bumblebee, or in her hangar.**

**(**Foxy: Prowl, how could you? Those are my secret places! Especially under the dock, that's my uber-secret space!**)**

**120. Only select few 'Bots enjoy 'Feed The Human' and other such games.**

**(**Foxy: Sunny, Prowl, Mirage, Ironhide, and First Aid don't. Jazz came up with it. He took one of my pieces of popcorn, launched it, and laughed when I caught it in my mouth without using my hands. XD**)**

**Hello, everyone! :D How I've missed you! Hope you guys like this chapter, there's quite a bit of humor in this one! ^^**

**A big thank you to ChaosDancer12, WindstormPrime, NightCoringMadness, and Fandom Jumping Expert for favoriting this story! ^^ Another thank you to WindstormPrime and Fandom Jumping Expert for following RFLW/F&A! Finally, a giant thank you to WindstormPrime for following and favoriting ME! You guys are brilliantly wonderful for that! :D BTW, I'm probably going to be updating late on Saturday, I'm going Christmas shopping with my BF. ^^ ACTB is gonna be updated after this one, look for it!**


	7. Chapter 7

**121. If Foxy does not wish to reveal anything on a certain subject, oftentimes the 'Bot you'd least expect knows something about it.**

**(**Foxy: Prowl, must you tell people _everything_ about me?**)**

**(**Prowl: Yes.**)**

**(**Foxy: Fine, then what's my favorite way to make you glitch?**)**

**(**Prowl: *pauses, then glitches***)**

**(**Foxy: Just so you know, I'll tell him 'Moo, I'm a chicken.'. Works every time.**)**

**122. Prowl will glitch if he so much as hears the Doctor Who theme. Or 'EXTERMINATE!'. Or sees a Dalek.**

**(**Foxy: *evil grin* Now we come to the reason Daleks aren't allowed on base. They freak Prowl out.**)**

**(**Prowl: They do not.**)**

**(**Foxy: Oh, really? Then why's this rule even in here? Hence, why did I bring _this_ cute little guy with me? *holds up a Dalek plushie***)**

**(**Prowl: *optic twitches* Dalek- *glitches***)**

**(**Foxy: Oh, Prowlie, you just make it so easy, especially since you're a horrible liar.**)**

**123. Prowl will glitch if he catches you talking to stuffed animals. Or yourself.**

**(**Foxy: I've been known to croon to my horse every so often, don't know why I do it, it's just one of my weird quirks. Prowl caught me doing it, and it was the best possible time, too. All the other 'Bots were Primus-knows-where, and I was watching tv in my hangar with my horse sort of tossed on the couch at my side, no doubt from one of my kids. Not realizing Prowl had just walked in {My doorway is facing the back of the couch}, I turned to my horse and said, 'Can you believe there's nothing good on tv? It's a freakin' nightmare, if you ask me.' Prowl goes, 'Who are you talking to?', and to cover it up {He looked like he'd glitch again}, I said, 'Myself'. What happened? Down he went, sprawled out in my doorway. XD I turned to my horse and said, 'Now look what you did. You glitched Prowl.' I'm beginning to think that my sanity is teetering further and further on the overhang that drops into actual mental instability. XD**)**

**124. Prowl is _scarily_ OCD about messes. Therefore, all quarters _must_ be kept clean.**

**(**Foxy: I went to his office early to start working on my next set of rules, and I found him cleaning the underside of his desk. With a feather duster. ...I still am not entirely sure how to respond to seeing that.**)**

**125. Prowl and parrots don't mix.**

**(**Foxy: I bought a parrot from the pet store, a Scarlet Macaw? His name's Jack, and he talks. ^^ Anyway, since I didn't want my dogs scaring him, I brought him to Prowl's office. Prowl greeted me, as usual, and before I even got my mouth open Jack returned the greeting, giving Prowl a hearty, 'Howdy, pardner!' Prowl absolutely _froze_, it was the funniest thing ever. After a little bit, he looked over at me, and I swore I saw smoke come from his helm. XD He couldn't compute the fact that Jack cursed him out for absolutely no reason later on. XD I love my birdie. He's so smart. XD**)**

**126. To go with Rule 125, Prowl doesn't enjoy _any_ pet.**

**(**Foxy: Prowl made me write that, even if it is true. I tried getting him a fish, he said it was too colorful. I got him a dog, he tells me it gets fur everywhere. I got him a parakeet, but he said it's too noisy. And that it humps his finger. XD I didn't believe him on that last one, so I snuck in while he was taking care of it. Sure enough… Tweety violated Prowl's finger. XD No more pets for Prowl.**)**

**127. Prowl also doesn't enjoy a hundred stuffed animals in his quarters, Sides.**

**(**Sides: It was two hundred!**)**

**128. Setting everyone's alarms to go off every five minutes isn't helpful, Sides.**

**(**Foxy: Sonofabitch did it to me, more specifically my phone. I showed him what happens when you set it to go off every day I don't have to get up early.**)**

**129. Don't give Foxy fish, then tell her it's fish _after_ she eats it.**

**(**Foxy: After I'm finished gagging, I'll be out for your helm. This means you, Sideswipe. I do not like fish, I do not like shellfish, I do not like squid, octopus, alligator, crocodile, whatever the hell else lives in the water! Am I clear? If I'm not, I can carve it into your shiny metal ass, so I _know_ you'll get the message.**)**

**130. Do show Foxy the Maze Game.**

**(**Foxy: That really creepy one with the face and the scream at the end? Leo showed it to me, and I swear I broke my own eardrums I screamed so loud. XD Then I showed it to the 'Bots. Jazz and the chair toppled over in his haste to get away from the screen, Barricade and Ratchet swore loudly and colorfully, Sides and Sunny squealed like femmes and ran from the room, Que jumped then laughed a little, Hound yelled and stumbled backwards, Ironhide nearly shot the screen after screaming and swearing, and Bee ran from the room screaming bloody murder. We still haven't found him. I'll admit I felt bad for scaring him that bad. Prowl's was by far the most entertaining. The horrid face popped up at the same time the scream started, and he _squealed_. Like, actually squealed in fright before he hauled major aft for the door. On his way there, he tripped over his own two feet and crashed into the wall, then crawled out the door, wings vibrating at hyper-speed. XD Real graceful, Prowler. I thought for sure he was gonna glitch, but now I owe Ratchet ten bucks.**)**

**131. If it looks painful, it probably is.**

**(**Foxy: Except that I've trained myself to avoid registering it, hence I can contort myself in ways that shouldn't be possible.**)**

**132. Foxy is happiest when working on an engine.**

**(**Foxy: Ratchet figured this out when he couldn't find me for a few days. I'd been working on all the Jeeps that Lennox has in the one hangar, kind of souping them up a little, just so they're not gonna quit on anyone anytime soon.**)**

**133. Don't move things around to make Foxy think she's getting forgetful. She'll 'forget' you exist for a few days.**

**(**Foxy: Sides? Who's Sides? There's never been any 'Sides' in this faction. I should know, I've been looking for the file for Prowl.**)**

**(**Sides: You really don't know who I am? It's me! Sides! Sideswipe!**)**

**(**Foxy: Mech, I'm telling you, there are no records of a 'Sides', or a 'Sideswipe' anywhere around here.**)**

**(**Sides: No, look! I have it! It's right here, see?! *passes her his file that he'd nicked***)**

**(**Foxy: How do I know you didn't just make this file up now? You could be a Decepticon and just aren't telling me, because you're trying to slide yourself into our ranks.**)**

**134. Ratchet doesn't 'do' piggyback rides. Nor do Sunny or Mirage.**

**(**Foxy: Mirage won't say no if you want to give _him_ one, though. He likes being carried places like the Towers mech that he is. XD He calls me a faithful steed, because I'm the only one that willingly keeps giving him piggyback rides. XD It's fun. Optimus says that we can't do it going into battle though, so I'm a little bummed.**)**

**135. Jazz is not 'Batmech', Bumblebee is not 'Scout Wonder', Ratchet is not 'The Medic', Prowl is not 'The Po-Po', Sides is not 'The Pranker', Ironhide is not 'Iron Mech', Optimus is not 'Supermech', and Bluestreak is not 'The Talker'.**

**(**Foxy: Fine, blame me and my love of superheroes for this. In case you've got no clue who's supposed to be who… Jazz=Batman, Bumblebee=Robin, Ratchet=The Hulk, Prowl=The Penguin, Sides=The Joker, Ironhide=Iron Man, Optimus=Superman, Bluestreak=The Riddler. XD I've even got drawings of a few of them. XD**)**

**136. The cake is a lie.**

**(**Foxy: Funny story on this. I'm trying to get the 'Bots interested in some of the stuff that's somewhat popular, and right now we're on internet videos, and people who're famous on the internet, through video game walkthroughs and stuff. They know Pewds, we're working on Roosterteeth, AKA Achievement Hunter. We're watching their Wipeout Minecraft Let's Play, me and Jazz, and we get to the point where Ray 'goes cakeless'. Jazz asks me why, and without even thinking about it, I say, 'The cake is a lie.' XD It makes so much sense now why Ray hates cake.**)**

**137. Don't test Prowl's glitch by seeing how many things it can handle.**

**(**Foxy: It'll end badly or hysterically, depending on who you are. Me in a horse hologram talking and acting like a human, Bumblebee changing his to a woman, and Jazz listening willingly to country {He would rather listen to anything else then country} were all enough to toe the line, and it sure was funny. Bee as a woman really won though. I was second. XD Prowl freaked out when I started typing with my hooves, then decided that they were too big and started using my muzzle. XD**)**

**138. If you want chaos, bring a squirrel or rabbit to base and show it to Foxy.**

**(**Foxy: Believe it or not, I like to chase things that run. A bird, a squirrel, a rabbit, whatever. If it moves, I'll wanna go get it. Sides snuck a rabbit onto base after hearing me say that I can catch them no sweat. He got my attention, then grinned and set it on the floor. As soon as he did, it took off. Guess who took off after it on a wild chase through humans and 'Bot legs? Me! It was fun, too. I bowled myself over Jazz's foot when he didn't see me and set it down in front of me. I could hear him laughing as I skidded around a corner after the bunny. I returned it to Sides about two hours later, held by the ears and looking petrified. XD**)**

**139. If Foxy slinks away during construction, renovation, etc, it's too loud. **

**(**Prowl: You can find her hidden in whichever quarters are furthest from the noise, huddled in the furthest corner. Often, that happens to be my office. And my lap.**)**

**(**Foxy: Or under your desk, Prowl.**)**

**140. Unless you want to get soaked, avoid sending Foxy out into the rain.**

**(**Foxy: Not only do I gripe about it, but I'll shower you in water when I shake as much off myself as possible.**)**

**Hi, everybody! :D Sorry about no upload yesterday, I got back around midnight and was in bed before I remembered about it. :/ BTW, 126 is absolutely true! My bf has a pet bird that humps his mom's house slippers, which is what I got the idea from. XDXD**


	8. Chapter 8

**141. Don't prank Foxy unless you feel like making a fool of yourself.**

**(**Foxy: *narrows eyes* Apparently, Sideswipe hasn't learned his lesson. Fortunately, it's the same lesson I try to drive into his thick helm if he teases me. Bad behavior equals PAIN. Well, I'm off to deliver a bit of pain for Sideswipe and a whole lot of hilarity for everyone else. *gathers up a bear, a giant cage large enough to fit Sides & the bear, then a vest made of meat* Coming to see how good at bear-wrestling Sides is, Prowl?**)**

**(**Prowl:... He will not willingly wrestle a bear.**)**

**(**Foxy: That's the prank. *winks* I'll trap him in the cage after tossing the meat vest on him, then I'll let the bear in. It'll be easier that way, especially once I lock the cage. :D**)**

**142. Don't try to teach the 'Bots how to skate, skateboard, rollerblade, or ice-skate.**

**(**Foxy: It ends badly. Sides and I tried to teach everybot else how to do it, since he already knows how to roll around on his wheels. Not even Jazz, the one who's normally got moves on top of moves, was able to avoid busting his aft with rollerblades. Ironhide was the only one of the larger 'Bots who came close to skateboarding, if you call crouching on the board and kicking off a few feet at a time skateboarding. XD Bee leapt on the board and it shot out from underneath his feet, sending him crashing onto his aft on the tarmac. *cringes* It even _sounded_ painful. Skidz and Mudflap, however… surprised everyone when they got the whole trick to skateboarding on their first try. It wasn't long before the two of them were doing little jumps, rail-slides, and one or two 360's here and there. Things were going well for them… for about twenty minutes. Then they ended up crashing into each other's boards. XD**)**

**143. Don't release insects in Foxy's vicinity. Audios and ears will be ringing for hours.**

**(**Foxy: Sides thought he'd be funny and drop a tarantula in front of me while I was in the main hangar… I screamed so loud I swear my throat started bleeding, then I ran. I don't remember where, everything's fuzzy after I took off.**)**

**(**Prowl: You ran directly into my door and sent yourself into stasis.**)**

**144. Food is for eating, not for throwing.**

**(**Foxy: I got pissed off, so I threw an apple at a wall and it exploded. XD Bee saw it, and for whatever reason he thought it was hilarious. The two of us were busy for two hours, just throwing apples at the back of my hangar. I was covered in applesauce and chunks of apple, and so was Bee. When I finally called it quits, he was about to wash off when I told him I'd do it. Looking puzzled, he nodded, and I grinned before I started licking a section of his leg armor. XD The two of us were giggling like little kids when Ratchet found us with my tongue devouring the apple mush covering one of Bee's fingers. He goes, 'What the _PIT_ are the two of you doing?!' Bee's response was '_Uhh, I can explain._', then he pointed to me. I told Ratchet that we'd been throwing apples because we were bored, and we got coated in apple mush, so I was licking it off. Ratchet looked at me for a while, then he just shook his helm and walked away, muttering something about 'mentally unstable humans'. XD**)**

**145. Snow is adequate for use during a fight.**

**(**Foxy: Bossbot gave us permission to mash snow into a 'Con's face to distract them during a battle. I use this every time we have a battle in the mountains or up north. ^^ You'd be surprised how pissed the 'Cons get over simple snow. They act like it's pig shit or someth-I'm sorry. They act like it's Prowl. XDXDXDXDXD**) **

**(**Prowl: Why do you constantly bring up my name when you mention pig feces?**)**

**(**Foxy: Because, it just slipped out while I was ranting, and it's funny! You're clearly not pig shit, I don't know what I was thinking!**)**

**(**Prowl: Neither do I…**)**

**146. Foxy only drinks beer and rum. No wine, champagne, vodka, mixed drinks, etc.**

**(**Foxy: I've never had jager, I've never had tequila, I've never had brandy. Another thing I've never had: Moonshine. Horrible stuff, I've heard. I like my alcohol with the nice taste of hops or sugarcane. :P Mikaela tried getting me to try a Margarita, and I did it, but I was much more interested in my Bacardi. XD Not to mention the cute hologram sitting next to me that was our 'designated driver', even though the real driver was the Solstice sitting out in the parking lot. XD**)**

**(**Prowl: You humans have so many different types of the same basic substance.**)**

**(**Foxy: That don't mean it's all the same, Prowler. *carrying a bottle of Bud and giving him a lopsided grin***)**

**147. Photoshop is banned.**

**(**Foxy: Someone photoshopped a picture of me and Chris Hemsworth in a… compromising position. Then they hung it in the meeting hangar. My first instinct was to tear the picture down and throw it away, but I had second thoughts. I discovered that there's no fingerprints on the thing, but there _are_ traces of Energon on the edges. Using that information, I'm trying to figure out which 'Bot I've told about my teeny-tiny crush on Chris. So far, I'm only coming up with one, possibly two. One's Jazz, and I know he wouldn't do it. The other… let's just say that I've got ways of making Bumblebee sing like a canary.**)**

**148. Snow is not a prank tool, Sideswipe. Also, Prowl doesn't appreciate it being thrown in his face before you run away laughing.**

**(**Foxy: I don't get why he was laughing so hard. It really wasn't that funny. It was snow, big deal. It melts. It's not like it was mud or anything. Sides' taken to dumping snow on any unsuspecting 'Bots that'll stay still long enough for him to rig enough of it over their helms. XD He also does the classic 'throw-the-snowball-then-pretend-it-wasn't-me' gag. It was funny until he pointed at me while I was making a snowball to throw at Jazz. I got nailed with a ginormous snowball, courtesy of Bumblebee.**)**

**149. There is no reason to fill the base with snow. Therefore, no excuses will be tolerated.**

**(**Foxy: Prowl wrote this one while I was trying to warm up after Bee dumped snow on me. *pouts and shivers* Sideswipe did this, the idiot. He said he wanted to have a snowball fight indoors, where it was warm. I asked him if he knew snow melted in the heat. He blinked at me, then asked, 'It does?' I facepalmed in response, then went to go tell 'Bossbot who _really_ let the snow in.**)**

**150. Do _not_ fill Ironhide's cannons with snow.**

**(**Foxy: Not only does it melt and backfire on whatever plan you had once he warms his cannons up, but scalding-hot water burns. I'm just glad that he aimed them at Sides, and not any of the humans, including me.**)**

**151. Ratchet doesn't appreciate frozen wrenches. Or needing to dig them out of a snow pile. **

**(**Foxy: Seriously, Sides? What is with your snow obsession? You should by now that Ratchet will clock you one if you touch his wrenches, much less dropping them in a lake and letting them freeze into an ice block! And I already told you that snow melts, so why would you even _think_ of hiding them in the snow?! You really are an idiot!**)**

**(**Sides: You're spending too much time around Prowl. You need a processor freeze.**)**

**(**Foxy: Sides, _no_-! *gets two servofuls of snow dumped over her head, ending up sitting in the snowpile and shivering* S-S-Sides-s-s-s, you're-e-e d-d-dead. Ab-b-bsolutel-l-ly d-dead.**)**

**152. In conjunction with rule 151, Ratchet's wrenches are not for snowmen arms.**

**(**Foxy: Sides, again. He's such a child. *rolls eyes***)**

**153. No one screws with Bossbot.**

**(**Foxy: Does this even need to be stated? While I'll screw with Ratchet, Ironhide, and Prowl, I won't screw with Optimus. Hell, I'd even screw with _Megatron_ if he were around, but never Bossbot. That's a line I absolutely won't cross. I know where to knock it off with the stupid shit. Sideswipe, on the other servo, does not. What'd the idiot do? I swear he doesn't learn. He dumped a whole armful of snow on Bossbot, then hid behind a hangar. It really wasn't that hard to find him, considering he was giggling like a five-year-old. I only wish I'd seen what Optimus did to him, Bee pulled me over to build a snowmech with him and the kids.**)**

**154. All humans must wear adequate winter clothing during winter.**

**(**Foxy: Ratchet rarely ever submits rules, he must be getting sick of all the sick humans around. Huh, huh? *grins***)**

**(**Prowl: *shakes helm* Foxy, that was not even remotely funny.**)**

**(**Foxy: Eh, I know. You don't laugh anyway if it's funny, so I've stopped hoping to get a laugh out of you.**)**

**155. Foxy will get _dangerously_ involved in a snowball fight.**

**(**Foxy: You'd better believe it. I could get hypothermia, and I wouldn't care. I'd still keep firing those snowballs at my victim.**)**

**156. No dropping Christmas trees on humans. **

**(**Foxy: *glares at Will* Long story short, he made me get a Christmas tree, then when I'd picked one out, he sawed it so it toppled on me. A week later, Sideswipe dropped another tree on me, insisting that I get two. His was even bigger then Lennox's!**)**

**157. No burying Wheelie and/or Brains in the snow.**

**(**Foxy: I've got a problem with it because they come to _me_ wanting to warm up. Sad thing is, I take pity on them and let them climb inside my hoodie. I've had to kick Brains out more then once for groping, although Wheelie's been- *stops, looks down at the lump in her hoodie, then sighs*-groping as well. Lovely. Wheelie, if you're going to fondle, you're getting out.**)**

**(**Wheelie: C'mon, my servos are freezin', Rage Femme!**)**

**(**Foxy That doesn't mean you grope.**)**

**158. Avoid crashing into one another when 'sledding'. I hate having to keep treating you ignorant humans.**

**(**Foxy: Another rare rule from Ratchet. Ratch, it's kinda hard to steer a sled. And hi, by the way.**)**

**(**Ratchet. Then perhaps you humans should figure out a way to do so. Hello, Foxy.**)**

**159. The second Christmas songs start playing on the radio, Foxy loses all self control.**

**(**Foxy: XD It's true. I'll be found at eleven at night, working on some invention or drawing, and I'll be singing along with Paul McCartney while he's singing 'Wonderful Christmastime'. I'm surprised none of the 'Bots are getting tired of me singing Jingle Bells, or the Chipmunks' 'The Christmas Song'. XD**)**

**160. Foxy doesn't enjoy having snow dumped on her, Sideswipe.**

**(**Foxy: Fragger, I dare you to do it again. The first time I was okay with it, figuring that it's the first snow you've seen, but the third time's enough. You do it again, you're going to find out why snowmen don't have legs.**)**

**Hi, guys! :D Not a whole lot to say for this round, other then this: Any rules you guys want to see as a one-shot? I've already got a list of ones I think would make for funny stories, but I wanna hear which ones YOU guys like! :D (That, and I may possibly be running out of ideas for rules. Don't panic, there's still lots more chapters I've got written up, I've just finally... run.. out of... ideas. XD) Anyway, a big thank-you to Amethystina TFP for favoriting me! I love it when people like my stories! :D**


	9. Chapter 9

**161. Foxy's insomnia causes her to do strange things.**

**(**Foxy: I've asked Jazz why he's purple, Ratchet what makes oranges float, and Bumblebee if he's found any flowers to pollinate lately. The last one's a bit disturbing, but not nearly as disturbing as me running around with little more then a shirt and my undergarments on screaming that my pants were on fire. Thankfully Jazz was able to coax me down from the rafters before Prowl saw me. XD Jazz said that as soon as he'd gotten me down, I went into a dead sleep, one of the ones where you don't even move. He said he was stuck carrying a pantsless Little Bee around all day, but I still think he secretly liked it.**)**

**162. Foxy will doodle if she has nothing better to do. She will also use whatever canvas is available.**

**(**Foxy: So… yeah. Don't turn your back on me when I'm bored. XD Otherwise it may be graced with a picture of Ratchet in a bow tie and fez or something weird like that. I've actually given myself really bizarre 'tattoos' that way. I had one where it looked like a music sheet, with those three lines? On those lines were notes, and every circular part of each note was Jazz's helm. I'm not sure if I was high, or drunk, or what, but apparently it's an image that made its way into my head and stayed long enough for me to draw it. XD Jazz saw it, and promptly asked me what I was on and where he could find more of it. XD**)**

**163. No street racing for money, Pinks, revenge, etc. Not only is it irresponsible, it will risk revealing our existence.**

**(**Foxy: Aw, but I make sure I don't win all the time! And I don't win in the ones where we race for revenge! I win the Pinks ones and the money ones are iffy. I just give the money to charity anyway.**)**

**(**Prowl: Not only do you street race illegally, but you also 'hustle' other racers, _and_ you give the illegal winnings to charities?**)**

**(**Foxy: Uh-oh, that's Prowl's scolding tone. Brig, be prepared for Foxy, because she's comin' home.**)**

**164. No one is 'watching you', Foxy. Nor is there a human waiting in the night with a machete.**

**(**Foxy: You never know! Anything is possible anymore!**)**

**(**Ratchet: And you've reached the 'Red Alert' paranoia level.**)**

**165. **'**My hand was asleep.' is not an adequate reason for knocking Galloway out. Or slapping him, either.**

**(**Foxy: Oops. *shrugs nonchalantly* I didn't know.**)**

**166. **'**My foot was asleep.' is **_**also**_** not a reason for tripping him. Or kicking him.**

**(**Foxy: Damn. Would it work if I said he fixed my dead leg?**)**

**(**Prowl: No.**)**

**(**Foxy: Damn.**)**

**167. Foxy, if given nothing to entertain herself with, is not above watching local wildlife from a window.**

**(**Foxy: XD Long story… Me, Ratchet, Jazz, and Bee got stranded out in some woods in the middle of nowhere… I used my skills to find us a cabin. Since Ratchet wanted us to stay inside{Ergo, make sure I didn't get lost}, I spent the majority of my day watching squirrels, chipmunks, rabbits, whatever from one of the windows in the loft. XD Jazz, who was sharing it with me, laughed and said that he'd never heard me that quiet before.**)**

**168. It's only funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's fraggin' hilarious!**

**(**Foxy: Truer words have never been typed. XD So, Jazz and me were laughing about something, I forget what it was, and he was chasing after me. I rounded a corner of the Lennox's house, going at a pretty good speed, then went to duck into the house. Turns out, I forgot to open the screen door beforehand. -_- I went _bang_, staggered backwards, tumbled down the steps, and five minutes later I had a pretty good shiner going on. Jazz absolutely lost it when he realized I was fine, rolling around in the fields like I'd just done the classic slip-on-the-banana-peel gag. When I went back to base, I had to tell Ratchet how I got my black eye, and why Jazz was calling me 'Sparrow'. Hint, it's because a sparrow's a bird, and birds hit windows. Har de har.**)**

**169. Optimus Prime is not Transformer Prime.**

**(**Foxy: Okay, okay, let me explain. When I read a report, I tend to speed read, meaning my eyes move faster then my mouth. I was reading one line that said 'Optimus Prime', while my eyes were on the line underneath it, which said 'transformer' at roughly the same spot as 'Optimus'. I didn't realize why the 'Bots were laughing so hard until Jazz greeted Bossbot as 'Transformer Prime' and brought on a whole 'nother round of laughter.**)**

**170. Foxy and caramel don't mix.**

**(**Foxy: I learned this the hard way. I was eating Milk Duds for the first time ever after Anna was the sweetest little thing and let me share, since I'd been stuck fighting 'Cons on Halloween. Turns out, caramel warms up and gets uber-sticky if you try to savor the flavor. :( *pout* I was an idiot and filled my mouth with as many as I could hold, so when they warmed up my jaws got stuck together while I chewed. Jazz laughed at me when he entered my hangar and found me trying to wrench my jaws open while my head tilted and my tongue flicked out. He still tells me I looked like a dog with peanut butter in its mouth.**)**

**(**Jazz: XD True tha', Lil' Bee.**)**

**171. To go along with Rule 170, 'DOTS' do not mix well with Foxy either.**

**(**Foxy… Jazz, you're an aft.**)**

**(**Jazz: *laughs***)**

**(**Foxy: He dared me to see how many I could fit in my mouth. I was up to fifty-four, but I lost count when he started laughing at me. I tried yelling at him, but it turned into this weird garbled mumble. I still tried, and what happened, Jazz?**)**

**(**Jazz: Started laughin' even harder atcha. XD**)**

**172. No holographic costumes/accessories for Halloween. All outfits must be real.**

**(**Prowl: This, surprisingly, is Foxy's rule. She is not present at the moment, she tells me she's currently working on her own costume. I certainly hope this doesn't mean she expects _all _of us to 'dress up'.**)**

**173. Along with Rule 172, no using holograms, then changing them every five minutes!**

**(**Prowl: She is still working, and she has written here Sideswipe's designation. I can only imagine what it means.**)**

**174. Don't startle Foxy if she's got her earbuds in, her eyes closed, and is lying on a couch/sofa/the floor. You may get kicked.**

**(**Foxy: *doing exactly as described***)**

**(**Ratchet: Foxy, you're late for typing up the next set of rules. *approaches, and leans over the end of the couch closer to Foxy's feet* Foxy?**)**

**(**Foxy: *senses she's being watched, and opens her eyes to find Ratchet's hologram's two inches from hers* *screams and flails, ultimately falling off the couch***)**

**(**Ratchet: Arrgh! Foxy! *fingers clamp over his nose* You broke my hologram's nose!**)**

**(**Foxy: Sorry, Ratchet! You scared the living hell outta me! I'm really sorry…**)**

**175. Foxy takes her hot chocolate with two packets, milk instead of water, and no stirring of the chocolate mix.**

**(**Prowl: Her rules are _so_ odd… Oh, hello again, humans. Foxy is busy shouting at Epps for not making this very drink the way she prefers. Perhaps he didn't read this rule. *chuckles a little***)**

**176. Foxy mellows out on hot chocolate.**

**(**Jazz: *glances over at a knocked-out Foxy currently sleeping on his couch* 'S real weird. She was 'er usual self, then she just goes an' flops down over there. Ain't moved since.**)**

**177. Foxy will climb anything if she gets the chance.**

**(**Foxy: This includes trees, hangars, 'Bots, and the occasional human. I don't climb those very often, because they can't seem to figure out how to steady themselves long enough to avoid toppling to the ground.**)**

**178. **'**Rap Battles' are banned from base.**

**(**Foxy: Not for the reason you might think. Jazz tried teaching me, with the excuse that-**)**

**(**Jazz: Every white girl gotta know how t' rap.**)**

**(**Foxy: And what happened?**)**

**(**Jazz: Can't rap fer slag, Little Bee.**)**

**(**Foxy: Got that right.**)**

**179. Foxy, your hangar is not 'The Shag Tent'. Neither is Jazz's.**

**(**Foxy:... Okay, anyone that doesn't get this clearly hasn't seen Austin Powers. And Jazz has accepted the nickname for his hangar, so HA!**)**

**180. Prowl does, in fact, like The Police.**

**(**Foxy: Jazz… I love you. You're the only one that could figure out that Prowl _has_ been somewhat adapting to our culture thanks to your awesome saboteur skills. He's been listening to 'Every Step You Take' since I got in, and I gotta say, it's quite the sight.**)**

**(**Jazz: *grins* Knew 'e couldn't resist at least somethin' chill-like.**)**

**Hi, everybody! :D Remember, if you guys want to see a rule as a one-shot, just tell me! I'll post all of them once I run out of ideas, so hopefully that'll get more ideas flowing! Btw, 169 happened to me. -_- I was reading a wiki on one of the G1 characters (can't remember who it was), and my eyes were on the line below 'Optimus Prime', which had 'Transformers' at roughly the same spot. XD 'Transformer Prime' popped out of my mouth, since I was clarifying something out loud so I'd remember it. XD I've done 168 too. XD At my old place of living, we had lots of glass screen doors and actual screen doors. XD I was going into our adjoined garage and forgot to open the door, so I ended up walking straight into it. XDXD Whoops. I'm just glad nobody saw it. **


	10. Chapter 10

**181. Starscream is _not_ fond of 'Bird Is The Word'.**

**(**Foxy: Well, at least we know what song will get us information. He was willing to offer us up information if he'd just be able to think without that screechy-aft voice in his processor. … Does he even hear himself sometimes? We get that it's a ruse, and that he won't tell us jack slag though. You wanna know how we know?**)**

**(**Jazz: 'S somethin' only she coulda come up with.**)**

**(**Foxy: Starscream doesn't know that '_The bird is the word_'. *significant look to the readers, then laughs evilly***)**

**182. If Foxy is listening to music and upset with you, she _will_ turn her music up to unearthly levels to avoid you talking to her.**

**(**Jazz: XD Taught 'er well.**)**

**183. **'**Can you **_**delete**_** this?' Said by mistake, is not an excuse to point a cannon at said object and fire.**

**(**Foxy: Ironhide! He made it worse! He looks at me after disintegrating my picture of him and goes, 'It's deleted. Why you needed me to delete a simple piece of paper is unfathomable.' I meant 'Can you _look at_ this.' *pout***)**

**184. No writing inappropriate things out on a calculator.**

**(**Ratchet: Not only is it not funny, '28008' is only a number. There is no reason to be giggling over it.**)**

**(**Foxy: Ratchet, '28008' equals 'BOOBS' upside down. :P**)**

**185. A Harry Potter wand is a toy, and not to be used in cursing a 'Bot.**

**(**Foxy: Just because I cursed Ratchet because he yelled at me doesn't make me Voldemort! So what if I used the spell he usually uses, it's not like 'Expecto Patronum' would do me any good. XD**)**

**186. Just because you have a wand and glasses, it does not mean you are Harry Potter.**

**(**Foxy: Does too. I'm the female version.**)**

**(**Jazz: *watching Foxy run around with the wand, starts chuckling when she points it at Ratchet and shouts 'Avada Kedavra!* She don't learn.**)**

**(**Foxy: *running from Ratchet, who's chasing her* EEE! *points wand behind her* Stupefy! Stupefy! Sectumsempra! Wingardium Leviosa!**)**

**(**Jazz: How's tha' plastic stick workin' for ya, Little Bee? *trying not to laugh***)**

**187. No mech is to further Foxy's belief that she is a wizard.**

**(**Foxy: Prowl, a female 'wizard' is called a witch. And why can't they 'further my belief'? I made Jazz float, fraggit all! I am magic!**)**

**(**Jazz: *listening to Foxy and sniggering over his prank* Can't believe she went an' fell for it, 'Raj. She din't even think of lookin' for ya.**)**

**(**Mirage: *nods silently, then takes the cube of high-grade Jazz is offering before swiftly leaving***)**

**188. Megatron is _not_ Dr. Doofenshmirtz.**

**(**Foxy: They both have a Nemesis.**)**

**(**Prowl:...**)**

**(**Foxy: And they both have someone they consider to be a 'goody-two-shoes brother'.**)**

**(**Prowl:...**)**

**(**Jazz: Tha' means I'm tha' duck-thing. Tha' secret agent.**)**

**(**Foxy: He's a platypus. -_-**)**

**189. Que is not to come anywhere near Phineas and Ferb.**

**(**Foxy: *writing out 'Que, P&H _A_lpha _T_elephone 0900', then sends it to him* *receives '_T_iger _H_orse _A_nimal _N_ewt _K_angaroo _S_nake', and grins* *whispers* For those of you that don't know, I told him what time Phineas and Ferb is on, and he told me thanks. ^^**)**

**190. Jazz is not Agent P.**

**(**Jazz: Aw.**)**

**(**Foxy: Then I am Agent F! F for 'Fedora'! Now, where'd I put my fedora…?**)**

**191. Lava lamps are fascinating to the 'Bots.**

**(**Foxy: No joke, I got mine out, plugged it in, then turned it on, okay? I turned around to put my bag away, and when I came back Barricade, Jazz, Bumblebee, Ratchet, Sides, and Que were sitting around it in a circle, completely mesmerized. They looked like kids watching a favorite cartoon. XD It kept them there for _five hours_! XDXDXD Since they like mine so much, I got them each one. Sides hasn't pulled any pranks in a few weeks, and I haven't heard any explosions coming from Que's lab…**)**

**192. Only a select few 'Bots enjoy pets, namely Jazz, Bee, Blue, Hound, and Ratchet.**

**(**Foxy: Sides tolerates my dogs, but none of them really like Jack after seeing him take a poo. XD Hound loves Bingo though. He's always taking him for walks, and playing with him, it's really cute. ^^**)**

**193. No, our systems do not beep out the theme to 'The Super Mario Brothers'.**

**(**Foxy: Sorry, Prowl. I don't know what made me ask that.**)**

**194. It is not wise to remove Foxy's caffeine intake.**

**(**Foxy: What's this? Prowl warning against taking my coffee? Thanks, Prowlie! ^^**)**

**(**Prowl:...**)**

**(**Foxy: Brig?**)**

**(**Prowl: Brig.**)**

**195. Playing 'The 101 Dalmatians' song 'Cruella De Vil' when Foxy first pulls out of recharge is a sure way to get yourself unwanted attention.**

**(**Foxy: So… Bee did this to me this morning. He didn't even let me get down the steps before he started, either. I waited until he was done, then very calmly told him that he'd better start running and hope that he didn't get an ass full of claw marks. He took off, I followed, and I served him up a warning to never pull that crap on me when I'm just waking up. XD**)**

**196. Do make playlists of songs that remind you of each 'Bot.**

**(**Foxy: And the 'Cons, too! Mega-fart and Screamy are hardcore metalheads. I think they'd like Megadeth, and Metallica too. ^^**)**

**197. Do not tell 'ghost stories' around Red Alert.**

**(**Foxy: Sorry, Red. I didn't hear you come in the room, honest. *sighs* Too late, I can already hear him banning the others from picking up any mysteriously-alone humans off the side of the road.**)**

**198. Sliding down steps while using an exercise mat is a bad idea.**

**(**Foxy: XD The slag I get up to sometimes. So, me and Jazz were bored, which is never a good thing, and I came up with the brilliantly-stupid idea to 'stair-surf'. Jazz was completely gung-ho about it, which was his first mistake. I borrowed one of the exercise mats from in the training room, positioned it at the top of the steps on one of the catwalks in the main hangar, then sat on it and had Jazz push me. That was _my_ first mistake. Jazz gave me too-good of a push, and I swear I bounced clear over a few steps on my way down. I went flying past his vehicle mode, shrieking wildly, until I was finally slowed down. By a metal wall. My head connected pretty badly, but I didn't really care. It was Jazz's turn! That was my second mistake. _His_ second mistake was agreeing to let me come with on his maiden voyage. XD With mine and the hologram's combined weight, we were able to get it out to the tarmac, where I tried putting my leg out to stop, only for us to skid to a stop anyway because of the rough ground. We toppled into a heap, my ankle bent weirdly, and we still didn't quit. For the rest of the day, we took turns sliding down the steps, whooping and screaming, not to mention trying to avoid the walls. I managed to connect pretty hard with a wall that was moving, only to see that it was Ratchet when my vision cleared. He started screaming once he realized that I'd sprained my ankle and given myself a concussion. XD**)**

**(**Prowl:... That's why you limped into my office today.**)**

**(**Foxy: Yup. Because Jazz and I are idiots that enjoy bodily harm. XD**)**

**199. Getting a yoga ball, then running at another human who also has one is a _very_ bad idea.**

**(**Foxy: *groans quietly* Why did I convince Sides this would be a good idea?**)**

**(**Ratchet: The better question is, why are you not using your processor to realize that it was a horrible idea?**)**

**(**Foxy: I dunno… All I do know is that my face hurts from all that face-planting and scraping it through the grass, not to mention my sides hurt from where he decided to forego the ball and run at me, then pounce me. My ass hurts from him landing on it, so I doubt I learned my lesson.**)**

**200. Human playgrounds are best left for children, and not Foxy.**

**(**Foxy:… I got stuck on the monkey bars, Prowl. Once.**)**

**(**Prowl: You also got stuck at the top of the slide, and the rope net. Three more times. As if that weren't enough, you made _me_ get you down each and every time.**)**

**(**Foxy… *pouts* At least I said 'Please'.**)**

**(**Prowl: Sometimes I wonder if we're sparkling-sitting you.**)**

**(**Foxy: Sometimes, I do too.**)**

**Hello, everyone! :D Back for another round of rules! I got the idea for rules 198 and 199 from my friend, who's actually done these things before. XD She also gave me the idea for rule 200, since I asked her where she could picture a kid getting stuck at on a playground. XD Her response? 'The slide, since I picture this little chubby kid getting stuck at the top.' ^^ Foxy's a bit different though, in this case she just wouldn't come down, since she's afraid of heights. XD Prowl forced her to go down it. I don't own 'Bird Is The Word', Harry Potter, or Phineas and Ferb. XD I do own a lava lamp though. ^^ Best entertainment ever!**


	11. Chapter 11

**201. If Foxy bolts during a thunderstorm, there's no reason to go after her. She'll return when it has stopped, or comlink/call from her location.**

**(**Foxy: Jazz seems to think that once I run, I'm not gonna stop for anything, although I don't really know where he could've gotten that idea from…**)**

**(**Prowl: *unamused look in Foxy's direction***)**

**(**Foxy: Okay, okay, maybe I do have _some_ clues, but I'm not-...Hmmm. I- *pauses, then shuts her mouth* I've got nothing else to say.**)**

**(**Prowl: You do realize that he only goes after you because you tend to get yourself into some form of trouble wherever you go, correct?**)**

**(**Foxy: Yeah, don't I know it. I get that, really, and I'm sure that if Jazz weren't here Bee would be going after me, but… It's not like I'm gonna get lost or anything.**)**

**(**Prowl: If I recall correctly, weren't _you_ part of the group that got lost in the woods?**)**

**(**Foxy: Nope. I was with them, sure, but nobody ever asked me for directions. I was never lost.**)**

**(**Prowl: Then why didn't you simply find your way back?**)**

**(**Foxy: Because I would've been lonely, and the woods are scary at night, and they wouldn't have been there. *puppy-dog pout***)**

**202. Foxy can go up a ladder, but she will avoid getting down at all costs.**

**(**Foxy: I hate ladders! They scare the living hell outta me, they're majorly wobbly, and if you miss a step, that's it! Your ass meets the ground with a flat _SMACK_, and your spine gets pushed out your mouth, and-**)**

**(**Prowl: We were incorrect. You're _worse _then Red Alert.**)**

**(**Foxy: I know! What took all of you so long to realize that? I'm afraid of life, dammit!**)**

**(**Prowl: Are you going to lock yourself in your quarters again?**)**

**(**Foxy: I dunno, probably!**)**

**(**Prowl: Then at least take Jazz with you this time. When you off-line from lack of fuel he'll be able to bring you out.**)**

**(**Foxy: *pauses mid-freak out, and looks at Prowl* When did you get so morbid?**)**

**(**Prowl: Only when necessary.**)**

**203. No parkour.**

**(**Foxy: They hate it, especially using their vehicle modes while they're trying to recharge in the middle of the night. Ironhide nearly shot my ass when I landed on his hood, only to bounce over to Ratchet's and come right back. How the hell I haven't gotten shot yet, I'll never know. XD I'm so hyper sometimes, it's a wonder they don't say 'Frag it' and wrap me up like a Christmas present with a gag in my mouth, then just plop me in a corner of a hangar and leave me. XD I tried going from Sides' hood, skipping over Sunny's, then landing on Blue's, but it didn't work out. I crumpled into a heap on the floor at Blue's tire. XD Optimus finally saw that my energy wasn't leaving, so he sent me out with Blue to do some nighttime scouting. XD The two of us kept ourselves entertained. I showed him how to parkour off buildings. XD**)**

**204. All vehicle mode changes must be run by Optimus or Prowl.**

**(**Foxy: I… might've… changed my horn to The General Lee's, thinking Optimus would be cool with it, y'know? *shakes head* He wasn't happy. He let me keep it after my punishment was over though. It helps me blend in. ^^**)**

**205. Justin Beiber is cruel and unusual punishment, and is denied on base. _ANY_ base.**

**(**Foxy: Not even _Jazz_ likes him. XD I asked Anna the one day what she thought of him, since little girls are supposed to like him, right? She gave me the greatest answer I've ever heard. She goes 'Ew. I don't like her. She's icky.' I was grinning all day. Jazz asked me why, and I said, 'Anna's my new favorite kid now.' He either knew or didn't want to, because he laughed a little, then left quickly. XD**)**

**206. Blackmail can be extremely helpful in some cases.**

**(**Foxy: *evil laughter* Ratchet doing the Caramelldansen, Jazz tripping over a laser during a training session and pulling out a pretty spectacular faceplant, Sides setting up a prank on Prowl, the list goes on.**)**

**(**Ratchet: Foxy dancing to the 'Chicken Dance' at an unfathomable hour of the morning.**)**

**(**Foxy: *sarcasm* Thanks, Ratch.**)**

**(**Ratchet: You're welcome.**)**

**(**Prowl: What prank do you have footage of?**)**

**(**Foxy: I've got a feeling you'll figure it out once Sides starts screwing with me again… *evil laugh* Whoever said diamonds are a girl's best friend knew nothing of blackmail.**)**

**207. There is no need to scream at video games near-constantly.**

**(**Foxy: Sorry, Prowl. One of my few bad habits that I'll admit to.**)**

**(**Prowl: Few?**)**

**(**Foxy: That I'll admit to. The majority of the others… I won't.**)**

**208. No 'slap', Bloody Knuckles, 'Indian Burning', or 'Rock, paper, scissors, slap'.**

**(**Foxy: I take full blame for this. I taught Barricade, which was my first mistake. My second was thinking he wouldn't show everyone else the fun new game of 'slap' he'd learned. Hell, he showed Bee, who showed Jazz, who showed Sides, who showed Skidz and Mudflap, who've been playing it for the past few hours. Unfortunately, they're playing the modified version, where it's not just hands that get slapped. It's the whole body. XD I'm just glad that I found a way to entertain myself and one other person. My only complaint is that Bee's the only one that's careful not to slap too hard. Barricade really winds up, and nearly slaps my entire shoulder out of its socket, Sides' sting like a motherfragger, and Jazz fakes me out. He'll come in really slow, like he's not gonna do it that hard, but then he winds back and it's like a whip cracking across the back of your hand. *sigh* So much entertainment out of bodily harm. XD**)**

**209. Inflatable 'climb-in' balls are only allowed with _responsible_ mechs supervising. **

**(**Foxy: XD Probably my favorite toy. Y'know those giant inflatable beach balls you can climb inside? I bought one. Once it was blown up all the way, I climbed inside, leaving Jazz and Bumblebee, two mechs I _thought_ were capable of not doing anything stupid, to supervise. Oh, how wrong I was. XD

Bee's hologram climbed inside with me, since it was one of the super-massive ones you need an air compressor to blow up otherwise risk passing out, leaving _Jazz_ to supervise. What he did was immature and something a mischievous eight-year-old boy would do. He shoved it, absolutely as hard as he could. XD I was completely not expecting it, so could do little more then scream and try not to get plopped out on the ground through the hole. Ratchet heard the screaming, and he told me later that all he saw was this giant orange _something_ go barreling by him, screaming fit to die. XD Jazz was chortling like it was the greatest thing he'd ever seen, in a completely childish manner, and Bee and me only stopped when we hit a hangar with a loud _bang_, then Ratchet caught us. I got out, staggered around, and Ratchet tells me that I opened my mouth. XD I can only imagine what garbled sound made its way past my lips. After that, I dropped like a rock.**)**

**(**Prowl: That's what all the noise was.**)**

**(**Foxy: Yeah, we're all immature children who are all out to kill each other, and sometimes ourselves. XD**)**

**210. Following Rule 209, do _not_ climb inside and have a mech 'bowl' while using it.**

**(**Foxy: We don't learn. Sometimes I think we're asking for it. XD This time Jazz's hologram jumped inside it with me, then I told Bee to see how many mechs he could knock down with it. I'm guessing he looked up how to bowl on the internet, because his thumb was stuck in our exit/entry hole. The ball was lifted, and I remember giving Jazz the biggest grin in the world. XD After that, it all went to shit. The ball went flying through the air, I squealed and clung to his hologram, the ball hit the ground and I was flung to the opposite side, for a millisecond. Afterwards, we were rolling really fast, the two of us cemented to the walls of the thing, and suddenly we ricocheted off something really hard. Whatever it was, Ratchet shouted. XD We did that for another three hours, nonstop, and the only reason we stopped was because we hit Prowl and made him glitch. Bee's final total: Eight, and a bruise the shape of Jazz's hologram's ass on my back from when he landed on me the one time. XD As soon as we stopped I hauled ass for the nearest trashcan.**)**

**211. No snoring allowed!**

**(**Foxy: Grunting's just fine, I just hate snoring. *cheeky grin***)**

**(**Prowl: Foxfire…**)**

**(**Foxy: All right, all right, I'm taking it off, but only because _you_ snore, Prowl.**)**

**(**Prowl: I most certainly do not snore.**)**

**(**Foxy: Do too, I've heard you. It's not overly obnoxious or anything like that, it's just… *shrugs* I dunno, a snore.**)**

**212. Do _not_ try to wield a weapon you are unfamiliar with.**

**(**Foxy: A rare visit from Ironhide! Hi, 'Hide! *grins and waves***)**

**(**'Hide: *growls* Mutt, this is serious.**)**

**(**Foxy: Aaaw, stick-in-the-mud! At least greet our readers!**)**

**(**'Hide: *grunts* Hello.**)**

**(**Foxy: And yeah, this is kind of my fault. I was wielding the greatest thing ever-a potato gun. XD I'd never used one before, and I never bothered to read the instructions. Turns out, they're really simple to fire, but the kick's a bitch to work with. It threw my aim off. I didn't know where the potato went, until I heard a really high-pitched yelp. XD Whoops. Apparently, I missed my target completely and shot Ratchet in the ass by mistake. Once I realized what had happened, I ran as fast as I could for Optimus, trying not to laugh because it slows me down. XD Oops, sorry, Ratch! *giggling* Dat yelp doe! XD I wanna try and see if I can get Jazz with it, just to see what he'd do. My god, I'm turning back into that little kid that pesters frogs for fun.**)**

**213. There is no need to 'stalk' your favorite human. It disturbs them.**

**(**Foxy: Yet another 'me and my big mouth' moment. I was chattering away to Optimus, something that's rare just because he's so busy, and I commented jokingly that if Bee followed Sam everywhere, there'd be no chance of Sam getting hurt. Bee must've overheard me, because the next thing I knew, Bee was missing from base for a good two weeks. It only took that long for Sam to crack. I heard someone screaming, but who it was I didn't know. Sam suddenly came barreling around a corner at me, and he was the one doing the screaming. 'I CAN'T TAKE IT! Call him off! CALL HIM OFF!' He tackled me, begging over and over for me to call someone off. I didn't know what he was talking about until I spotted Bee's bumper peeking around the corner Sam had just rounded. XD I wonder if I could get Jazz to follow me around like that… Hmm… *gets ideas***)**

**214. Jazz, do not throw Foxy into the air while singing, 'I throw my human in the air sometimes, sayin' Aaay-yo, you a good hoe!' While she may find it funny, other femmes may not.**

**(**Jazz: Aw, c'mon, Prowler! 'S funny! Here, try it! *throws a giggling Foxy over to Prowl***)**

**(**Prowl: *scrambles to catch Foxy* Jazz!**)**

**(**Foxy: *still laughing* Prowlie, it's fine! Everybody throws me anymore! I'd be surprised if they _didn't _throw me! XD**)**

**(**Prowl: I believe I told you both not to call me either one of those names.**)**

**(**Jazz: *waves a servo dismissively* Y'gonna throw 'er back, or just keep 'er fer a while?**)**

**(**Prowl: *looks from Foxy to Jazz, then back to Foxy* *slowly moves her to one servo, then lightly tosses her back***)**

**(**Jazz: *grinning* There ya go, Prowler! Tha's more like it! *catches Foxy, idly begins tossing her from one servo to the other as he walks out the door***)**

**(**Prowl: What… did I just witness…?**)**

**215. Crates are not for hiding in, nor for popping out of and scaring mechs.**

**(**Prowl: Do I need to state who's done this? *looks around, then sighs* Very well. The culprit is currently still being thrown around by Jazz. Are we certain that she isn't part feline? They enjoy boxes as well.**)**

**216. **'**Technologic' is not allowed.**

**(**Foxy: Aw, c'mon, please? *puppy-dog pout***)**

**(**Prowl: No.**)**

**(**Foxy: I need my secret weapon. _JAAAAZZ!_ Prowlie's banning Technologic!**)**

**(**Jazz: *bursts in the door* Prowler, ya can't!**)**

**(**Prowl: I can, and I will. The two of you listen to that far too often. It's driving the rest of us insane.**)**

**(**Foxy&Jazz: Prowler, pleeeeeeaaaaassseeee? *puppy-dog pouts***)**

**(**Prowl: *tries to avoid looking at the duo* Nngh…**)**

**(**Foxy&Jazz: Pleeeeaaaassseee? *whimperwhimper***)**

**(**Foxy: Prowlie, pretty please with high-grade on top? *clasps hands together in begging motion***)**

**(**Jazz: Make tha' double. *imitates Foxy, clasping claws together***)**

**(**Prowl: *optics dart to the duo, then away, then back again* No…?**)**

**(**Jazz: *scoops up Foxy and holds her out to Prowl* C'mon, look at tha' face! Ya can't say no ta tha'! Pleeease?**)**

**(**Foxy: *increases her look, her lower lip quivering and her eyes watering***)**

**(**Prowl: *watches her for a moment, then sighs* The two of you will not leave unless I say 'yes', will you?**)**

**(**Jazz: Nope.**)**

**(**Prowl: *groans a little* Fine. Technologic is allowed once more, but restricted.**)**

**(**Foxy&Jazz: Yeah! Thanks, Prowlie! You're the greatest! ^^**)**

**(**Foxy: *jumps from Jazz's claws and hugs Prowl* You're the best! ^^**)**

**217. No changing holograms as a prank.**

**(**Foxy: I was wondering why there were more women on base then usual. XD Sideswipe, the mastermind behind the whole thing, even changed his. Prowl's was my absolute favorite though. A busty, short-shorts and fishnets-wearing, curvy lady cop. XD My Primus, and with the best hair color! Half black and half white! He looked like Cruella De Vil gone Copper! XD Sideswipe, you're brilliant! Although… why you gave Optimus' blue and red hair still puzzles me. His hair's usually black. And he usually _doesn't_ have… well, yeah, he does. He had good legs when he was male, but that's something completely different. XD Jazz and I spent the whole day groping each other, it was hilarious and so not weird at all. XD**)**

**218. No Gangam Style.**

**(**Foxy: Prowl, pretty please? I'll get Jazz again and he can help me beg.**)**

**(**Jazz: We beggin' again? Prowler, pleeease?!**)**

**(**Prowl: It is futile to fight. Fine, restricted.**)**

**(**Foxy&Jazz: *cheering***)**

**219. Giant zip ties are not to be used for whipping contests.**

**(**Foxy: XD We're so immature. You know those giant-ass, foot-long, inch-thick ones? The industrial grade ones? Yeah. Guess who found some and grabbed a few. XD It was every human for themselves, because the holograms can't feel pain. We got Epps to join in, and it was an all out chaos. Jazz and I were dueling, while Epps and Bee were going at it. Jazz caught me with a lucky shot to the thigh and it hurt like a biii-aaaatch! XD I swear he was aiming for my right cheek, because he did it _again_, and that time he landed it. I yipped and leapt into the air when he got me, making him laugh. 'Watch where you're whippin' that thing, boi! You're gettin' mighty close there!' Was my reply. XD My god, I'm such a hick. He just laughed even harder, and I decided the gloves were coming off. I got him while he wasn't even looking, and it was his turn to yelp. The two of us spent the rest of the day whipping one another on the ass. XD We never did find out what happened with Epps' and Bee's battle.**)**

**220. On/After Halloween, do not throw candy at one another.**

**(**Foxy: XDXDXD We're such five year olds. Next thing you know, me and Jazz'll be fighting over a toy.**)**

**(**Jazz: Mmm, kinky. *snigger***)**

**(**Foxy: _You_-! *mock-charges him, sending him running away laughing* Where was I? Oh, yeah. Throwing candy at each other. For the record, Bee's hologram started it. He hates Milk Duds, so he gives them to me. Well, he tossed them to me, and they smacked me straight in the forehead. XD I'm not gonna take that, so I chucked a pack of Skittles at him, screaming, 'You're such a Skittle! Here's your brethren!' … Might've been on a teeny sugar high at this point. XD Jazz was just watching the two of us duke it out, giggling. At least, he was until I chucked a Kit-Kat at him. He retaliated by tossing a handful of Tootsie Rolls at me, and it was an all-out war. I remember hiding behind a table and throwing them right back at him, and that's about it. I woke up in Ratchet's medbay with a sugar hangover the next morning. XD**)**

**A big thank you to Shadow Night Prime for following and favoriting not only this story, but me as well! Snowingroses favorited both me and this story, another thank you in order there. :) And still **_**another**_** thank you to serenabishop97 for favoriting me! Thank you, you wonderful people! And, for those of you who celebrate Christmas, there's going to be a two-shot story relating to Foxy celebrating it with the Autobots, so look for that one! It'll be under the Transformers category, no crossovers in that short story! ^^ Ta ta, and look for the next updates on Wednesday!**


	12. Chapter 12

**221. Do not take a plate of food and smash it into Foxy/any human's face. **

**(**Foxy: XD We just get worse and worse. This time we were visiting Sam and Mikaela, and we'd all gone to Burger King. I got my usual, and eventually forgot about it in favor of reading Gone With The Wind. XD Without looking up, I told Bee to 'hit me', ergo 'Whopper me', and what's he do? Gives me a faceful of Whopper. XD To make things worse, it wasn't even _my_ Whopper he grabbed. XD It was Sam's, since the two of us got the same thing. He didn't even look at all guilty, probably because Sam and Mikaela were cracking up. I looked at him for a minute, then swiped some ketchup off my nose, put it on a lettuce leaf, then stuck the whole thing to Bee's hologram's forehead. XD It was my turn to laugh, and boy did I. I told Sam that he could have mine, but if he stole some of my fries I'd render him infertile. He whimpered softly, and I gave him an evil grin before leaving to get rid of the condiments.**)**

**(**Prowl: Were any of them stolen?**)**

**(**Foxy: And that's how you ask if someone's still fertile without actually saying it. Yes, Sam's still capable of reproducing. XD**)**

**222. Foxy, for the last time, must you banter with Sideswipe while eating?**

**(**Foxy: Ratchet must be getting fed up with me choking on stuff. XD It's not my fault, he usually starts it. The most recent one I can remember was when he told me my ass makes more sense then my face while I had a mouthful of mashed potatoes. XD I was not only choking on my food, but my laughter too. I got my revenge by spraying his hologram with potatoes. XD He shrieked loud enough to break a window, then the hologram instantly vanished. I laughed even harder and almost choked again. XD I swear, they're all out to kill me in some way. At least, if I don't do it to myself first. XD**)**

**223. Ratchet is not a 'Wee-Woo'.**

**(**Sides: Blame Foxy for this one. XD She gave herself a concussion, you really don't wanna know how, and it was like he'd sedated her. He had to drive to get to her, and he had his sirens on to get there faster. She must've heard it, because she looked around and I asked what was wrong. She- *laughs*- She told me she heard a wee-woo coming. I asked her what a wee-woo was, but she didn't answer me. Ratchet pulled up a few minutes later, and she points at his vehicle mode and goes, 'That's a wee-woo!'. I left at that point because Hatchet said I was laughing too hard to help. XD**)**

**224. No attempting Mario Kart on the freeway.**

**(**Foxy: *grins* It was incredible! I was Donkey Kong, Bee was Toad, Jazz was Luigi, Sides was Yoshi, Sunny was Waluigi, Blue was Wario, even Jolt played as Mario! ^^ It was the coolest thing ever, especially needing to dodge other humans' cars. They'd honk as we passed by, and a few people waved once they spotted our holograms of the characters. XD We'd wave back, and keep going. I was in the lead, and I was just about to put on a 'turbo boost' of speed when I spotted flashing lights coming up behind our group. While I was distracted, Jazz-sorry, _Luigi_, bumped me out of the way and stole the lead from me. He laughed, and I was stuck following him, running away from Prowl. XD Prowl eventually caught all of us though, and made us go back to base, where Ratchet scolded us with him. XD**)**

**225. Foxy, absolutely no shooting tennis balls at a 'Con. Or Prowl.**

**(**Foxy: *firing tennis balls at Starscream with her racket and sending them rebounding off his face, screaming angrily***)**

**226. Prowl does not like waffles, pancakes, or french toast.**

**(**Foxy: Hey, Prowl!**)**

**(**Prowl: Oh, no.**)**

**(**Foxy: Do y'like waffles, Prowl?!**)**

**(**Prowl: *helmdesk* No, I don't like waffles.**)**

**(**Foxy: Do y'like pancakes, Prowl?!**)**

**(**Prowl: *servos over his audios* No, I don't like pancakes.**)**

**(**Foxy: Do y'like french toast, Prowl?!**)**

**(**Prowl: *whimpers* No, I don't like french toast.**)**

**(**Foxy: Di, di, di, di, he can't wait to get a mouthful!**)**

**(**Prowl: *raises helm and looks to the readers* *mouthes 'Save me.' before returning his helm to the desk***)**

**227. When the superiors are away, throwing parties is forbidden.**

**(**Prowl: *glares at Jazz***)**

**(**Jazz: Ey, wasn't me. I woulda invited ya, if it was me.**)**

**(**Prowl: Where is Foxy?**)**

**(**Jazz: Uhh… Tha's a good question, Prowler. Dunno.**)**

**(**Prowl: You mean you just _lost_ your mate? When we're on a military base?**)**

**(**Jazz: Last I saw of 'er was… Hmm. Think she was slidin' down the railin'.**)**

**(**Prowl: *sigh* Not only do I need to put the two of you in the brig, but we need to _find her_ first.**)**

**(**Jazz: Y'wanna go check Detroit?**)**

**(**Prowl:... Why Detroit?**)**

**(**Jazz: She figured tha's where she'd be, rechargin' in an awnin', or somethin'.**)**

**(**Prowl: Perhaps we should look around base, first.**)**

**228. Annabelle must be under her parentals' or Ironhide's watch by nightfall. No exceptions, excuses, or explanations.**

**(**Foxy: This one should be obvious. If Annabelle's not accounted for, and you're the last one that saw her, then Banana, AKA me, will be very, very, _very_ angry, and you may find yourself waking up in the medbay with no memory of how you got there, and also no memory of how exactly your aft got clawed into ribbons.**)**

**229. Justin Beiber doesn't just look like a lady, she _is_ a lady.**

**(**Prowl: Foxy, must you insist on bringing this human up continuously?**)**

**(**Foxy: Just making sure they know, Prowl. Just making sure they know.**)**

**230. No creating a band, then participating in a 'Battle of The Bands'.**

**(**Foxy: Prowl, you're just mad I didn't let you play keyboard. And you can't deny that we were good. Me on drums, Bee on keyboard, and Jazz on the electric guitar, Sides, Blue, and Sunny didn't stand a chance. I especially loved when we did Teenage Wasteland-Bee's fingers were flying!**)**

**(**Prowl: I am _not_ angry that you didn't volunteer me against my will.**)**

**(**Foxy: Yeah, okay. *gives him a smile, then leaves***)**

**(**Prowl: *waits until she's gone, then pouts a little* I would've been far superior to Bumblebee.**)**

**231. No 'Dueling Banjos'. **

**(**Foxy:.. Okay, so… huh. Who knew the sound of banjos piss Prowl off to the point of him actively seeking out the source of the twang, then destroying it if he finds a banjo? XD I was trying to learn how to play the banjo, and he came storming in. Before I could even ask what had crawled up his aft and died there he grabbed my banjo and started clubbing it against the floor. XD When I thought it was finally dead, that he'd sufficiently killed it, he pulled out his acid pellet gun and started firing on the remains of my banjo. XD Afterwards, he looked at me for a while without saying anything before walking out. XD I couldn't even get mad that he'd just destroyed my banjo! That was the rare sighting of 'Hulk-Prowl', and lemme tell you this: It's a little freaky. XD I'm slightly scared of Prowl now.**)**

**232. To humans/Autobot holograms: Do _not_ photocopy your aft, then fill Galloway's briefcase, vehicle, presentation, etc. with the images.**

**(**Foxy: BWAHAHAHAHA! XD We're so horrible to that man, but he deserves it!**)**

**(**Jazz: Yup, 'e's an aft. Pretty big one, too. We're just makin' sure 'e knows it, Prowler. 'Sides, it's funny.**)**

**(**Foxy: His face when he saw Sides' aft-portrait! XD I thought he was gonna piss himself! XD He looked so horrified! We should keep a few of those around, play 'Whose aft is this?' sometime. XDXD**)**

**233. Do not place human/canine waste in Galloway's shoes, vehicle, or suit.**

**(**Foxy: *cackling wickedly* Jazz, you give me the greatest ideas!**)**

**(**Prowl: *glares at Jazz***)**

**(**Jazz: Ey, wasn't me! Think I'm gonna touch tha' slag?! No way, Prowler.**)**

**(**Foxy: My Primus, Jazz! It's just shit! It's not toxic waste! XD I put one of Dexter's dirty diapers in his glove box, right on top of the napkins, so when he goes to scoop the shit out of his suit and shoes he'll get a handful of warm, wet, squidgy baby poo. XDXDXD *cackling again***)**

**(**Jazz: See? Wasn't me! *looks over at Foxy, who topples to the floor laughing* Thinkin' I gotta real evil mate…**)**

**(**Prowl: What gave you that idea?**)**

**234. No ventriloquist dummies on base.**

**(**Foxy: Before people riot, Jeff Dunham's are fine. Just not around Red Alert or Prowl. XD Otherwise, any others are just creepy. They freak me out. I'll run screaming from the room, to be honest. XD They remind me of those Goosebumps books, the 'Night of The Living Dummy' ones? Good shit, those are freaky.**)**

**235. If Foxy gets little sleep over a theory, there is no reason to be alarmed. That is merely the way she operates.**

**(**Foxy: I tend to do this a lot, and it freaks Prowl out every so often how I'll just randomly fall into a dead sleep either standing up or sitting at the list of rules. XD I've warned him that I'm not initiating spontaneous combustion, just sleeping, but he just won't listen. Him and Red Alert. XD I'm not sure what freaks the two of them out more, my theory that we're related to horses, dogs, and cats because of our joint structure, or the fact that I can fall asleep at the most random of times, including standing up. XD**)**

**236. There is a reason the Transformers cartoons were ended, canceled, etc. **

**(**Foxy: The real Cybertronians don't think they really speak and act like their cartoon counterparts. XD I don't have the heart to tell the majority of them that they do. XD**)**

**(**Jazz: 'Least I ain't short in 'em. An' the dude doin' my voice in Animated is cool. *grins***)**

**(**Foxy: *facepalms* Some of them, on the other servo…**)**

**237. No trying to engage the Decepticons in a dance battle while on the battlefield.**

**(**Foxy: Sometimes I really think I've got a death wish or something. I'm not talking about the 'Cons trying to shoot my ass, I'm talking about Ironhide throttling me after Ratchet's done. It actually _worked_, which is the freaky thing. XD Skywarp and Thundercracker joined in with me to Kesha's 'Blow', right in the middle of the battle! I kept trying to get more 'Cons to join the dance-off, but they just tried ignoring me or getting away from me as fast as possible. XD**)**

**(**Ratchet: You are the most idiotic, stupid slagging fried-processored femme-!**)**

**(**Foxy: I'll show myself to the brig now. 'Honey, I'm home!'**)**

**238. It's not truly known if Foxy's brilliantly stupid, or insanely intelligent.**

**(**Foxy: Ratch, why don't you just say you can't figure out if I'm stupidly smart, or if I'm crazier then crazy. It gets the point across better.**)**

**239. It is possible to trip over air.**

**(**Foxy: Just ask Jazz. He sees me do it at least once daily.**)**

**(**Jazz: Prove it more'n tha'. *sniggers***)**

**(**Foxy: Dude, I'm not that ba- *trips over seemingly nothing***)**

**(**Jazz: *chuckling* Y'were sayin'? Tha's th' second time today. In five minutes.**)**

**(**Foxy: What the hell?! There's not even any loose floor for me to trip over, and I'm not wearing shoes so it's not the laces!**)**

**240. If you let Foxy out of your sight then can't find her, you can only pray that she's found something harmless to entertain herself with.**

**(**Jazz: Heya. So… remember Rule 227? Where we lost tha' crazy femme? Yeah… Found 'er in Que's lab, mixin' stuff up. Started runnin' fer cover when she comes out, bouncin' a giant bouncy ball. XD Thing's bigger 'en 'er helm.**)**

**Hi guys... sorry about the freaky long wait. I've just had so much shit to take care of, and I was grounded from the computer, and i'm restricted to only an hour now... it's hell, put plainly. XD Anyways, a big thank you to Snowingroses for following the story and me, and also to JoySalvatore1 for following me! :) You guys bring light to the dark times of war. Forgive me? I'll update another set of rules to make up for it? **

**Anyways, I don't own the Transformers cartoons (wish I did, I saw a full DVD box set of the original '84 cartoon in FYE for 79 bucks, wanted it so bad it wasn't even funny!), nor do I own Mario Kart. ^^**


	13. Chapter 13

**241. No Avenue Q.**

**(**Foxy: XD Prowl hates their songs, especially the 'I'm Not Wearing Underwear Today' one. XD The whole reason for that is-**)**

**(**Sides: *bursts into the room, grinning* _Oh, I'm not wearing underwear today, no I'm not wearing underwear today. Not that'cha probably care, much about my underwear, still nonetheless I gotta saaaay… that I'm not wearing underwear to… DAAAAAY!_ *races out of the room, laughing hysterically***)**

**(**Foxy: XD That's the reason. Because Sides keeps popping in at the most random of times and singing it for absolutely no reason other then to piss Prowl off. He hates 'If You Were Gay' because I… might've been singing it to myself while looking up pictures of he and Jazz as chibi kitties? It's not my fault that the only pictures people draw are with the both of them, and it looks like they're cuddling… ^^' Whoops. So, anyway… Prowl might've freaked. Even when I showed him how _cute_ he was as a kitty. *pout***)**

**242. No late night dance-offs.**

**(**Ratchet: *glares at Foxy and Jazz* I wonder why this rule's been put up…**)**

**(**Foxy: I only wanted to see him try the Party Rock shuffle thing! I never knew he'd want me to try it afterwards! Since he was willing, I wanted to see him try and limbo, and Primus was he good! Much better then me, and you know how flexible I am-**)**

**(**Ratchet: That doesn't matter! Next time, do it when the rest of us _aren't_ recharging! Or trying to! It's impossible to recharge with all that racket the two of you make at night!**)**

**(**Foxy: But we don't make Ratchet at night. That's you, Ratch.**)**

**(**Ratchet: *scans her, then sighs* Wonderful. You've managed to temporarily deafen yourself. Should've expected it with the music last night, you imbecile.**)**

**(**Foxy: I'm not a potato!**)**

**243. If in a positive mood, there is no need to blare Pharrell Williams' 'Happy' as loudly as possible.**

**(**Foxy: -_Because I'm happy, clap along if you feel like a room without a roof, because I'm happy! Clap along, if you know, what happiness is to you!_**)**

**(**Bee: *joins in, chirping and clapping to the beat, swaying from side to side, and moving his wings in time to the beat* ^^D**)**

**244. No theme songs for charging into battle.**

**(**Foxy: 'This Means War' by Nickelback is a really good one! It's awesome!**)**

**(**'Hide: Pantera's 'Cowboys From Hell' would be better, mutt.**)**

**(**Foxy: *nods* Definitely. It suits you better, I think. 'This Means War' just pumps me up, gets me ready for kicking aft.**)**

**(**Prowl: This rule is not up for debate. _Or_ discussion.**)**

**(**Foxy: Prowl's would be Iron Maiden's 'Prowler'. *trollface* XD**)**

**245. Ignore rule 244. ALL THE BATTLE THEMES!**

**(**Prowl: Foxfire!**)**

**(**Foxy: Uh-oh, full designation. Prowl's pissed. Think of me fondly after I die in the brig.**)**

**246. Time-Out is a child's version of the brig. If they put you there, you're expected to listen to them.**

**(**Foxy: Prowl got sent to Time-Out once. XD Daulton, the middle kid of mine, overheard Prowl say 'frag'. XD Daulton goes, '*gasp* You said a bad word! You need'a go to Time-Out!' Prowl goes, 'No, I do not. I am an adult, therefore I am very much allowed to use swears, however infrequently.' D didn't like that, so what ends up happening? XDXDXD They-they end up yelling at each other who's the boss of who, and who's older then who. XD For those of you who've never seen a toddler in a verbal fight, they never back down on something they think they're right on. They spent a good two hours yelling and shouting at each other, until finally I told Prowl to go with it so it would be over faster. He seceded, and D put him in the corner of the hangar for twenty minutes. XD What made it even better was when Jazz came in once the shouting died down, only to find the SIC sitting facing a corner, helm tucked down with his wings and my four-year-old standing there making sure Prowl didn't leave. XD I begged Jazz to get as many images as he could, silently, of course, so we could laugh ourselves silly over them. He sent me all of them, and I printed one of them out. It's in a picture frame on the wall of my quarters. XD I love my kid. XD**)**

**247. If Foxy proposes a theoretical question, be prepared for a debate of other-worldly proportions.**

**(**Foxy: How are snakes so flexible if they have a skeleton? Isn't the whole purpose of a skeleton to keep things rigid?**)**

**(**Prowl: No, Foxy. I'm not interested in a debate at the moment.**)**

**(**Foxy: But-But it's an honest question!**)**

**248. It's not necessary to 'Glomp' Jazz if you hear 'Sharp Dressed Man', by the human band ZZ Top, Foxy.**

**(**Foxy: Awe. Can… I do it to you, then?**)**

**(**Prowl:... You may do it to Jazz, and Jazz only.**)**

**(**Foxy: Yea-heah! Thanks Prowl! ^^**)**

**249. There is no reason to craft Jazz a complete list of the items in 'Sharp Dressed Man'.**

**(**Foxy: Aw, why not?**)**

**(**Jazz: *wearing white gloves over his claws, adjusting the oversized top hat on his helm so it tips forwards on an angle* Why not? I look pimpin', Prowler.**)**

**(**Prowl: You are not helping, Jazz.**)**

**(**Jazz: *grins at Prowl, the hat now slightly over his visor and adjusted to his liking* I know. 'S true though. Femmes go nuts fer a good-lookin' mech.**)**

**(**Foxy: Not to mention a sharp-dressed one. *grins at Jazz* And he is _very_ sharply-dressed.**)**

**(**Jazz: *grins* Pit yeah. See ya, Prowler.**)**

**(**Prowl: And where are the two of you going?**)**

**(**Foxy: The sharp-dressed mech is gettin' lucky.**)**

**250. _Do_ teach the 'Bots the Macarena.**

**(**Foxy: Best three hours I've ever spent. XD Jazz got it first, no surprise. Bee was next, and he was even cuter because his wings were moving with the beat, it was so cute! *squee* Ahem… anyway… Guess who got it third, and absolutely rocked it?**)**

**(**Prowl: Why do you insist on telling everyone that I 'rocked it'? I wasn't in possession of any rocks at the time.**)**

**(**Foxy: *facepalm* Prowl, it means you were amazing. To be honest, I really didn't think you'd bother even trying it. That's why I'm still surprised that you were able to get it third. *whispers once Prowl's busy* His hips were definitely rockin'. XD**)**

**251. No surprise dance parties.**

**(**Foxy: Me and Jazz use this to scare Prowl out of his armor regularly. XD The best time was when Prowl kept me late to work on this list. Meaner. I used my wrist comm that Optimus got me for graduation to coordinate with Jazz when our surprise dance party was going to begin in Prowl's office. Right at nine at night, Jazz dropped down out of one of the vents in the ceiling, since he's trained to be quiet, and he crept up behind Prowl. Jazz got my signal, grinned and started blaring Will. I. Am. 's 'I Like To Move It'. We were both dancing to it, one on either side of Prowl, and he jumped at least three feet out of his chair, then hauled aft for the door when the music started. XD I've never seen him run that fast before!**)**

**(**Jazz: 'E din't even glitch!**)**

**(**Foxy: XD I really think we scared him. XD**)**

**252. No thong pranks.**

**(**Prowl: … *looks at Foxy blankly***)**

**(**Foxy: You don't wanna know. A thong is a horrible thing.**)**

**(**Prowl: *nods* I will not ask.**)**

**(**Foxy: Good idea. *whispers to the readers* Bee dared me to get one on Jazz… I did. *shudder* No mech should ever wear a thong. It was a satiny black one that matched his visor. My poor mind when he noticed it and started strutting around.**)**

**253. No goofing around during meetings.**

**(**Foxy: Before you all tell me that I'm disrespecting Bossbot, I don't do it when he calls the meeting. Only Prowl, Ratchet, or Ironhide. XD I pull faces and stuff while their backs are turned. I've even imitated Prowl a few times when he wasn't looking. XD It's really easy. Just get this expressionless, bored look on your face, then pretend to be reading from a datapad. XD I'm such a child. This is why Optimus didn't let me in meetings early on, I'm guessing. Somehow, I've gotten into games of footsies with Jazz under the table… Not to mention poking contests between Bee, me, and Sides, and playing hangman with them. XD They're surprisingly good at it.**)**

**254. Foxy, you are not James Bond.**

**(**Foxy: Am too!**)**

**(**Jazz: More like tha' Austin Powers dude.**)**

**(**Foxy: I'm not obsessed with shagging!**)**

**(**Jazz&Prowl: *stare at Foxy***)**

**(**Jazz: Sure 'bout tha'?**)**

**(**Foxy: *blushes, hangs head, and goes silent***)**

**(**Jazz: Tha's what I thought. *smug grin***)**

**255. Immunizations are best done when Foxy is completely unaware.**

**(**Foxy: Needles are the bane of my existence. Yeah, yeah, I've been found out. You come at me with one of those fuckers, you won't see me for very much longer.**)**

**(**Prowl: This was why you said Ratchet was making it worse.**)**

**(**Foxy: Gee, Prowl. What gave you that idea? Considering that I act like Ratchet's a murderer with a chainsaw coming at me every time I need a freakin' shot. Not even Jazz can hold onto me. He's tried, believe me. Nothing holds me when I see that fuckin' thing.**)**

**(**Prowl: Foxy, don't you think you're being just the slightest bit overdramatic?**)**

**(**Foxy: *blank stare* No, Prowl. I'm not. I'd like to see you hold me when I'm screaming loud enough to wake the undead and thrashing like a shark-attack victim. I put up more of a fight then you give me credit for. Needles are scary things, Prowl. Scary things.**)**

**256. The darker it gets, the more paranoid Foxy acts.**

**(**Foxy: The power went out one night on base really suddenly, and it caught me while I was walking back to my quarters. I completely froze up, and afterwards promptly freaked out. Were we under attack? Was I about to die? I didn't know, so I started running, thinking about that 'man with a machete and a lust for my blood' thing. Of course, just my luck, it was even darker outside because it was raining, and I was freaking out because I couldn't find _anyone_, so of course I panicked even more- *slumps sideways out of the chair, hit with a tranq dart***)**

**(**Ratchet: Foxy, must you scare yourself like this? *rolls optics* Hello, humans. Since she was not getting to the point quickly enough, I shall do so. She ran blindly through the halls until she collided with Optimus' foot, then proceeded to climb up his limb squalling like a Cyber-cat.**)**

**257. If in a wooded area on a scouting mission, keep Foxy on a leash or otherwise contained. Otherwise, she may vanish.**

**(**Foxy: All I wanted to do was chase that squirrel, okay? I couldn't _not_ do it, the little fucker threw an acorn at me!**)**

**(**Prowl: … Yes, well, it would be beneficial to keep you on a leash of some sort. We wouldn't misplace you so often.**)**

**258. No prank wars.**

**(**Foxy: *growling* Nobot pranks Jazz other then me. That's asking for a diabolically humiliating prank to be played on you, courtesy of yours truly.**)**

**(**Jazz: An' I'm helpin' fer this one.**)**

**(**Foxy: *evil grin* Sunny and Sides're fucked. I need you to get me a shitton of glitter, sequins, glue, two long lengths of garland, preferably gold along with the sequins and glitter… Oh, and two voice chips with nothing but Elvis on both. *evil laughter***)**

**(**Jazz:... *grin* Tha's why I love ya.**)**

**(**Foxy: ^^ Let's just say… the only thing Sunny's going to be worried about for a while are his 'Blue Suede Shoes'. *cackling wickedly***)**

**259. No modifying vocal processors!**

**(**Foxy: I'm evil. XD I screwed with Ratchet's because he pissed me off. Now he sounds like Michael Jackson. XD That gave me ideas, and the next morning, Ironhide woke up sounding like Spongebob, something Anna _loves_. XD He wasn't the only one though, Primus no. Sides sounds like Cyndi Lauper, the one who sings 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun'? Prowl sounds like Freddie Mercury, which is a complete win if you ask me. Hound sounds like John Wayne, not really a difference there… *shrugs* Sunny sounds like Gru, from 'Despicable Me', something that makes me laugh to no extent. Jazz's is badass, he sounds like Samuel L. Jackson. :D I even changed mine! I sound like a Minion now! Po-tay-to! XDXDXDXD**)**

**(**Jazz: *still sounds like Samuel L. Jackson* Ya changin' 'em back? 'M diggin' this.**)**

**(**Foxy: Mmmm… I think you and I can keep ours. _Banana!_ XDXDXDXDXD :P**)**

**260. Sneezes are hilarious.**

**(**Foxy: Even Prowl laughs. XD**)**

**(**Prowl: I do not.**)**

**(***far off sneeze***)**

**(**Prowl: * sniggers***)**

**(**Foxy: *grins* *makes a face, then releases a tiny sneeze***)**

**(**Prowl: *chuckling quietly while pretending to read a data pad***)**

**(**Foxy: *giggling* See? Made you laugh, Prowl!**)**

**Hi, people! As promised, the next set of rules! ^^ My favorite's gotta be rules 246, 250, 251, 253, and 259. XD**


	14. Chapter 14

**261. Do not slide on freshly-waxed floors.**

**(**Foxy: XD World's Dumbest should just be videos of me. I win AFV's one million dollars while living my everyday life. XD This one… don't ask how this one came about. XD Ever seen Monster's Inc.? That scene where Sulley floor-slides like a boss while holding Boo? Yeah, I tried that while racing Epps to the cafeteria. XD He said I did good on the sliding part… Not so much on the stopping part. According to him, I 'failed so badly even Megatron felt victorious', whatever the hell that means. I don't remember much, other then the sight of a wall coming straight at me and being unable to… oh. Well, at least I figured out why I'm in the medbay for a concussion, a broken nose, and a black eye.**)**

**262. No taping signs to Galloway's back, the 'Bots will take them literally.**

**(**Foxy: XDXDXD As an experiment, I taped 'Punt me as hard as you can without killing me' on his back, then hid in the rafters to watch the magic happen. I didn't need to wait long, Skidz came in, probably looking for his brother. He must've spotted the sign on Galloway's back, because he lowered, then grinned after about a minute. His foot swung towards Galloway, and I learned that not only do pigs squeal, they fly too. XD**)**

**(**Jazz: I punted 'im three feet straight up. *smug grin***)**

**(**Foxy: Jazz, Skidz got seven feet, and an arc that spanned three feet.**)**

**(**Jazz: Fraggit.**)**

**(***far-off yelp, then Ironhide laughing***)**

**(**Foxy: I wonder how hard Ironhide punted him? *grins***)**

**(**Jazz: More'n me. *pouts***)**

**(**Foxy: Awww, Jazz… Look, I'll go punt him when I'm done. I'll probably get about half a foot, considering he's taller then me, and I'll end up playing hacky-sack with him anyway.**)**

**(**Jazz: Wha's tha'?**)**

**(**Foxy: Hacky-sack? You'd love it. You and Bee. It's where you take a… It'll be better if I just show you. But when I'm done with this part of the list, kay?**)**

**(**Jazz: *nods***)**

**263. No repainting senior officers.**

**(**Foxy: *grins* Prowl, why not? Your new leopard-print paintjob really goes well with your designation. So do the 'ears' on your chevron, mi amigo.**)**

**(**Ratchet: Foxy! Fraggit all, why am I orange?!**)**

**(**Foxy: Not just orange, Ratch! You've got black stripes, too! You're a Tigger!**)**

**264. Do not play the COPS theme when Prowl: walks into a room, escorts a 'Bot to the brig, or chases after you.**

**(**Foxy: XD I've started a new trend. XD It's me, Bee, Jazz, Sides, Mirage, Jolt, and I've even heard Ironhide playing it once or twice when Prowl walks into the rec room. XD Bee usually plays it when Prowl's chasing after him, Jazz just likes to listen to it in Prowl's vicinity, like me. XD**)**

**265. Foxy has _no_ tolerance for Decepticons. Do not be alarmed if her attacks grow barbaric.**

**(**Foxy: Prowl knows it's useless telling me not to go to every battle anymore. I'll just tag along anyway, and get into the thick of things, my favorite place to be. The more I kill, the more I know are dead, and the less can come after me and the kids, or any of the 'Bots. Simple as that. Although, there are some that irritate me more then others. Starscream, for one. If he'd shut up, I actually might somewhat… Nah. He's still ugly. XD**)**

**266. Foxy is incredibly flexible. There is no need to panic if you witness one of her contortionist acts. **

**(**Foxy: I freaked Prowl out when I scratched behind my ear with a foot, like a dog, while I was showing off. Jazz laughed, my main goal, so I felt accomplished. Now, all we need to do is un-glitch Prowl… *sigh***)**

**267. No staring contests with a 'Bot or hologram.**

**(**Foxy: I used to be reigning champ at my old school, so I thought I'd show the 'Bots… by using Jazz as my opponent-slash-example. Before anyone says he cheated through the whole thing, I coaxed him into raising his visor. Those optics were on nothing but my eyes the whole time. However, I maaay have forgotten one tiny, little miniscule detail… Cybertronians don't really _need_ to blink. They've picked it up as a human mannerism. XD I stared at him for a good hour, squinting and narrowing my eyes to fight against blinking, then widening them the next minute. XD Too bad I finally needed to blink. Jazz laughed at me when my eyes watered, claiming 'I didn't need to cry because I'd lost.' I was _not_ crying! I was pouting. I still am.**)**

**268. No watching wrestling, then attempting to perform the moves.**

**(**Foxy: Prowl, Ironhide's not going to be happy, those are the moves he uses in battle. XD Then again, I use them too, especially the uppercuts and the piledrivers. Those are always my favorites, paired with the ones where one of the wrestlers climbs up to the top rope, then pounces on the other guy?**)**

**269. Don't stand up in a loft.**

**(**Foxy: So, a bit more on that 'we got lost in the woods' tale. Jazz and me got the loft, Ratchet got the couch, and Bee got the lower level bed, right? Our loft has three feet of space from carpeted floor to ceiling, and Jazz forgot about that part. Multiple times. XD I'd hear a '_BANG_', instantly followed by a '_OW!_ Fraggin' slagger!-' or other variations of it at least every five minutes. XD He swears enough to compete with Ratchet, which says something. XD**)**

**(**Ratchet: At least I had the common sense to choose the couch for _my_ hologram. Unlike the two of you.**)**

**(**Foxy: Not even the short ones are safe from low ceilings. XD**)**

**270. Foxy, stop creeping around in the rafters. You will not be capable of scaring me again.**

**(**Jazz: *jumps down from the rafters, landing right beside Prowl, making him jump***)**

**(**Foxy: Wasn't me this time, Prowl. See?**)**

**271. If you want fuzzy dice, get them for yourself, not _everybot_.**

**(**Foxy: Jazz's are pimpin'. His are black with white spots. ^^ They're classy. Mine's blue with black spots, to match my vehicle mode's paint colors. Bee doesn't think fuzzy dice are his style, and he's got the disco ball and the air-freshener thing anyway.**)**

**272. No insanity contests.**

**(**Foxy: If you don't know what those are, you try to prove how mentally unstable you are by doing things no sane person/'Bot would even dream of doing. So far, I'm the champ. I slapped a recharging Ironhide. Twice. In my bipedal mode, so I knew he'd feel it.**)**

**(**Jazz: Th' mech was fragged off wit 'er fer days.**)**

**(**Foxy: *evil laugh, then singsongs* I'm i-i-i-insa-a-a-ane, and none of you can match me! XDXDXDXD**)**

**273. It's been said before, but apparently Foxy doesn't listen. No high-grade.**

**(**Foxy: Another thing. Don't drink it, then try to transform and drive, like I did. I transformed all right, but my driving was fuck-all. XD I couldn't get my vehicle mode to do more then doughnuts, drive bumper-first into a hangar repeatedly, just backing up then flooring it and not turning. XD Another one was flip my vehicle mode over on its roof. Now, I've done this when I wasn't completely overcharged, and I was able to roll it over. Not this time. XD I got stuck belly-up, like a dead fish. I must've looked pathetic, but nobody came to help me. Ratchet said that he'd locked me in vehicle mode until the effects wore off, but that he'd also told nobody to help me. XDXDXD**)**

**274. Sideswipe, if you call me a 'he-she' again I'll rip out your throat cables.**

**(**Sides: *quiet whimper***)**

**(**Foxy: *growls***)**

**(**Sides: *flees, wailing for Jazz* _JAAAAAAZZ! _Control your mate! I'm begging you! She's gonna kill me! Please!**)**

**(**Foxy: *creepy feral grin, paired with a growl* I wouldn't kill Sides. Just maim him a lot. *evil laugh, turns into a cackle***)**

**275. If music is _absolutely_ necessary while working, keep volume levels low and avoid repeating the same song numerous times.**

**(**Foxy: After a while, even the best song gets old and needs to be changed.**)**

**276. Foxy doesn't do boats. Or bridges.**

**(**Foxy: Not even a little freakin' tugboat. They all freak me out. I'd rather be in a plane. I don't like the thought of the wreckage sucking you in, just _SCHHHLUUURP!_ then that's it. You're drowned. *shudders***)**

**277. Foxy, you cannot fly. Stop trying it.**

**(**Foxy: I refuse your theory, and substitute my own. My theory is that I _can_ fly, I just haven't figured out how to yet. *standing up at the top of the base, on the edge of the roof***)**

**(**Prowl: *sighs* I'm going to need to catch you, aren't I?**)**

**(**Foxy: No, because this time I'm going to do it! I'm going to fly! *leaps off the building and plummets like a rock* Fly, dammit! Fly!**)**

**(**Prowl: *sighs again, then extends a servo and catches Foxy easily*** **Foxy, you cannot fly. You are human. Humans were not meant to fly under their own power. That is why there are planes, helicopters, and rockets.**)**

**278. No riding a mattress down a flight of steps onto more mattresses.**

**(**Foxy: Me and Jazz surfed it down, 'cause we're badasses like that. XD It was going well, until the edge of the mattress hit the others we'd piled on the floor and ours pitched us off. I went flying, while Jazz just sort of staggered a bit. I hit the wall on the opposite side of the hangar and broke my leg. Jazz was about an inch from absolutely losing his processor at the way the bone looked. He was in full-blown panic mode, something that's really rare for him. It was scary. He was running all over the place, while I was just sitting on the floor trying to get it through his helm that he should either go get Ratchet, or comm Ratchet, so nothing worse happened to me. It didn't work, but thankfully Ratchet waltzed right in and spotted me. I swear that 'Bot's got a 'danger sense' or something.**)**

Prowl: That is why you were not typing up the list for the past few days, and why you have that. *points to the cast Foxy is wearing***)**

**(**Foxy: Yup. I told Ratchet I didn't need crutches, since Jazz plans on carrying me everywhere. And apparently, I'm sleeping with him until the cast is off. ^^ He makes a good pillow.**)**

**279. No riding in the 'climb-in' ball, then having someone push it down a flight of steps. **

**(**Foxy: This was before I broke my leg, I'm not that foolish. Jazz pushed me, as usual, and I flew out of the hangar. I saw Prowl, and said hi to him when I went by his feet. Another part of the base bounced me back in his direction, and something stopped me. I got out of the ball, only to find out that I'd been stopped by Prowl's face… literally. He'd glitched again.**)**

**280. No smuggling candy on base. Or alcohol.**

**(**Foxy: Ratchet lets us go nuts on Halloween, Christmas, and New Year's. That's it. Otherwise, you get arrested by the medic and your Crunch bars get confiscated. *pouts* My Crunchies…**)**

**Hi, everyone! Trying to get this cranked out fast, time limit of an hour is still in play. :( A big thank you to Freerunner4427 for favoriting my story, and another thank you to Autobot SemiSweet for favoriting me! You guys rock! :)**


	15. Chapter 15

**281. **'**Bop-It!' contests are not to be held at night.**

**(**Foxy: It's a really loud game, even though mine's from '98. Jazz and I didn't realize it until Ratchet came storming in, screaming 'I'll _bop the two of you_ three miles under if you don't stop that slagging noise!' I'd just lost, and was literally passing it to Jazz's hologram when the medic had burst in, so it was dangling in mid-air from my hand. My whole quarters were dead silent while we looked at him, and I guess he thought we'd be quiet afterwards, because he left. It was quiet for at least another five minutes, before I had to say it. I turned to Jazz with a shit-eating grin and said 'He's serious. He didn't say he'd _twist_ us into pretzels.' We had a hell of a time trying to stifle our giggles so Ratchet didn't hear. XD**)**

**282. Hell will be paid if you spill Foxy's coffee.**

**(**Foxy: Let this be the rule you all actually take seriously, if none of the others. If you spill so much as a drop of my coffee, shit's goin' down. Miles learned that the hard way. *smirks evilly* Ironhide needed to hold me back, since I'd slipped out of Jazz's claws so many times. I came really, really, _really _close to bringing Wrestlemania to the base, me vs. Miles. I was literally seeing nothing but red, and it didn't help that Barricade was cheering me on with Frenzy. Neither one of them like Miles much. Not too sure why.**)**

**283. No, Que will not make you a Pokemon of your choosing. Or turn you into Dark Magician Girl from 'Yu-gi-oh!'.**

**(**Foxy: Dark Magician Girl not only has high attack, but tits in the Japanese version of the card. XD I'm still making the outfit for Jazz's benefit. XD**)**

**284. No speaking Wookie to give reports to Galloway.**

**(**Foxy: I love Sides, he's brilliant! XD I can't believe that he seriously knows Wookie! :D *fangirling***)**

**(**Jazz: *pouts, then goes to learn Klingon***)**

**285. No giving reports in Klingon, either.**

**(**Foxy: XD Maybe I should write mine in Gallifreyan?**)**

**(**Blue: Oooh, you definitely should do that, that'd be awesome! Do you really know Gallifreyan, I do, we can send each other messages back and forth and nobot'll know what we're saying, it'll be awesome, it'll be amazing-**)**

**(**Foxy: Blue, I gotta get these rules done, dude. *small pout* I'll look it up later, so be looking for a message telling you that I'm free from Prowl's office. And it's gonna be in Gallifreyan, so be prepared, mech. *grins***)**

**286. No changing holograms, for the third time.**

**(**Foxy: I changed Sides' to a gorilla, Blue's to a chimp, and Ratchet's to an orangutan. XD My best work, by far, was Prowl's. His was Donkey Kong. XDXDXD I was on an 'ape craze' that day… Weird. Normally I'd just change them into random stuff, like Prowl would be Eeyore. ^^**)**

**287. You are not the Cheshire Cat, Foxy.**

**(**Foxy: Mmm, if I can't have any fun then I might as well leave.**)**

**(**Jazz: *face-servos* Aw, slag. C'mon, Lil' Bee.**)**

**(**Foxy: *grins widely* We're all mad here. *runs, cackling, into another hangar***)**

**(**Jazz: *sighs, then goes after her* Tha' femme's lucky I love 'er.**)**

**288. No hiding in Prowl's office and imitating a Dalek.**

**(**Foxy: Guilty as charged. I've never heard Prowl panic until that night. Under the threat of the brig, I'm risking a lot by telling you he shrieks like a femme and leaps onto his desk like a cat the second he hears something remotely similar to a Dalek. XD It wasn't even that difficult. I'd been practicing sounding like a Dalek in secret for months, so all I needed to do was hide and wait until I saw his feet. The second I did, I released an absolutely-perfect 'EXTERMINATE!', and his feet cleared the floor a good five feet before he shrieked and leapt again. This time, I heard a thump on the metal desk top above my head, and I so wished I'd had a hidden camera somewhere, but… oh well. Brig sweet brig. I'm waiting for the day when I finally go off the deep end and imagine that it starts asking me how my day was whenever I get sent there. XD**)**

**289. No dressing up as a cowboy and saying nothing but 'Howdy, pardner!' and other similar phrases for a week.**

**(**Foxy: XD Surprisingly, this wasn't me. It was Sides. XDXDXD I begged him to let me have the cowboy hat when Prowl was escorting him to the brig. He lifted it off, waved it, then replied, 'Yippi-ki-yay, mamasita!', then threw it my way. *squee* I gots a giant cowboy hat! :D**)**

**290. No imitating Jar-Jar Binks.**

**(**Foxy: I… might've… sort of… got Skidz and Mudflap into Star Wars, namely Jar-Jar? *sheepish grin* They've been talking like him for nearly a week straight, and it hasn't gotten old yet. XD**)**

**291. No imitating Steve Urkel.**

**(**Foxy: *chortling hysterically* Jazz, I love you! XD He slid straight into the hangar, crashed into Prowl, and sent the both of them tumbling. Whoops. XDXDXD Every living thing in the hangar was staring at them as they detangled themselves, and just as Prowl went to ask Jazz why he was being so reckless, Jazz grinned and opened his mouth. XD He-He- *laughs*- He goes, 'Did I do thaaat?', with a nasally voice like Urkel's and everything! XD I nearly fell out of Bee's servos I laughed so hard! Bee himself nearly dropped me from his laughter. My Primus, it was brilliant! It was the greatest thing I've ever seen! That's my mate, mechs and femmes! And he's all mine! XD**)**

**292. No calling someone a muggle. Or a mudblood. Or a Gorgon.**

**(**Foxy: Whaat the fuck's a Gorgon?! XD**)**

**(**Jazz: *grins wickedly* Galloway.**)**

**293. Galloway isn't cool enough to be Beetlejuice.**

**(**Prowl: Foxy… **)**

**(**Foxy: What, is true! _You're _cool enough though. And you _are_ black-and-white.**)**

**(**Prowl: So is Barricade.**)**

**(**Foxy: Good point. Oi, 'Cade!**)**

**(**'Cade: What, maggot?**)**

**(**Foxy: *grins* You're Beetlejuice now.**)**

**(**'Cade:...Why?**)**

**(**Foxy: Because you're name's got the same number of syllables in it, and it starts with 'B'. And you're , you're definitely 'The ghost with the most'.**)**

**(**'Cade: *rolls optics***)**

**294. Do not duct tape things to the 'Bots while they're recharging.**

**(**Foxy: I taped a fork to Bee's finger with enough length so it dangled and swung pretty freely. XD I laughed at watching him try to flick the fork off for a good hour and a half. I taped a condom to Jazz's aft. *chuckles evilly* He has yet to discover it.**)**

**295. Foxy, you are not Dory. No speaking whale.**

**(**Foxy: I can only speak Humpback. *pouts* Bee can speak Orca, Humpback, Dolphin, which is lots of whistles, chirps, and clicks, and he's working on perfecting his Blue Whale. XD I tried speaking Orca, but I can't get the warbles down. Bee's probably the only one that can. ^^**)**

**296. Rubber ducks freak Prowl and Red Alert out.**

**(**Foxy: Mr. Weasley… That is the function of a rubber duck.**)**

**297. No speaking like a Minion.**

**(**Foxy: _BANANA!_ *giggling***)**

**298. Do not quote 'Mulan' at me.**

**(**Foxy: *to Prowl, after he angered her again* Dishonor on you! Dishonor on your cow!**)**

**(**Prowl: *arches an optic ridge* Really. Dishonor on _you_, and dishonor on your pets. Now, brig. Go.**)**

**(**Foxy: Dishonor, Prowl. Dishonor. *leaves for the brig***)**

**299. You are not a Pikachu. You are also not a Bulbasaur, or a Squirtle, or a Charmander, or _any_ type of Pokemon.**

**(**Foxy: Just to spite you, I'ma Vulpix. :P *giggles***)**

**300. No 'Alvin and The Chipmunks'. **

**(**Foxy: The high-pitch voices irritate their audios, like vacuum cleaners do to dogs.**)**

**301. None of the 'Bots need giant wallets.**

**(**Foxy: I was bored, Prowl. Three days of boredom turns into giant wallets. I even made you one. See? *produces a massive black leather wallet with white cursive lettering on one side* The letters say 'Prowl', that way it matches your paint. ^^ Jazz got a grey one with silver letters, Bumblebee got a yellow one with black letters, Ratchet even got one! It's green with red letters, and I swore I saw him pull a wrench out of it. XD Optimus' blue with red flames, and his has his name on it too.**)**

**(**Prowl:... *looking over the wallet slowly* You managed to complete that many in only three days?**)**

**(**Foxy: Yep. Boredom does strange things, Prowl. Like make me giant wallets! XD**)**

**(**Prowl: *dismisses Foxy for the day, then looks around before placing the wallet in a subspace***)**

**302. If you are angry with someone, do _not_ throw a basketball at them.**

**(**Foxy: Fuckin' Galloway, man. Tells me that since I'm female I can't aim! I hope that fucker's nose really is broken. I hope his damn face's broken! *angry snort***)**

**(**Jazz: Think ya proved 'im wrong. *trying to help***)**

**Hi, guys! Apparently, I made a mistake in my counting. XD You all get two extra rules this time! :D That... and I don't own anything in the list that's not Foxy, the kids, or her dogs. I own some of the ideas, 'cause I came up with them, but that's about it. See ya!**


	16. Chapter 16

**303. Ironhide despises pigs.**

**(**Foxy: Not because they're dirty, because they're gassy. XD Sides hid one in his quarters and it stank the place up real quick. XD We had no idea why we heard shouting and really loud squeals coming from his quarters. Personally, I thought he'd found a femme and she just so happened to be a squealer, instead of a screamer. XD One thing's for sure, I never expected to see him exiting his quarters three hours later carrying a _pig_, of all things, in his servos. XD I just about pissed myself I laughed so hard.**)**

**304. Herds of cattle cause chaos.**

**(**Foxy: Gee, I wonder who let the entire herd of Lennox's into the base, _Sideswipe_?**)**

**(**Sides: Don't look at me!**)**

**(**Foxy: Sides, give it up. You reek like cow, dude.**)**

**(**Sides: The entire base does! You can't prove it was me!**)**

**(**Foxy: *smirks* I couldn't before.**)**

**(**Bumblebee: *screeching in alarm as he passes by, being chased by a cow***)**

**(**Foxy: *sighs* Well, the bovine-whisperer needs to go rescue Bumblebee, thanks to Sideswipe. *heads after Bumblebee and the cow* Bee, stop running. It's a cow, it won't hurt you.**)**

**305. Pizza is not for throwing.**

**(**Foxy: I threw my slice of pepperoni by accident at Epps. I meant to throw him my pen, so he could complete his reports. XD He looks at my slice, then at me, then goes, 'How do you write with a slice of pepperoni pizza?' I laughed, then said that I didn't know and threw him the proper writing utensil, thinking he'd toss my pizza back. He thanked me for the pen, then bit into my slice. -_- *pout* That was my last slice of pizza.**)**

**306. Prowl likes cows.**

**(**Foxy: At least overcharged Prowl does. After we'd gotten the cows back to Lennox's, we celebrated with high-grade, y'know, like usual. Well… apparently Prowl needed to get a bit overcharged after the day he'd had, or something, because the next thing any of us knew, he's sitting in the pasture with the cows, petting and talking to them. XD He'd pick some of them up and hold them while he petted them, it was hilarious. I wasn't the only one to do a spit-take when after looking for him, we finally found him in there. XD Lennox was laughing fit to die, Epps was screaming around his laughter for somebot to get pictures, while the rest of us 'Bots were gaping at Prowl, while taking countless pictures, of course. XD I still think that he thought they were his brethren, since most of them are black-and-white too. ^^**)**

**307. Torturing of Miles' reproductive components are to be monitored.**

**(**Foxy: Prowl, the word you're looking for is 'documented', not 'monitored'. XD That way there's no mini-Mileses running around. *shivers at the thought***)**

**308. Humans are not supposed to sound like a dying cow. If they do, there is something very wrong.**

**(**Foxy: I was giving Dakota a piggyback ride, and Jazz was watching us goof around, like usual. Dakota, my oldest kid, wanted me to run, so I ran, weaving around Jazz's feet and back and forth, it was fun. Then she wanted me to run like a camel. XD I ran like a gangly-legged *couchRatchetcough* person would run, and hearing her and Jazz laughing got me started. I make a good steed. ^^ She wanted me to run even faster, I ran as fast as I could while laughing and trying to avoid her slipping off. I must've been running for a good fifteen-twenty minutes before my tongue flopped out and I got this really hilarious wheeze going. I sounded like an engine trying to turn over, that 'hrrr-rrr-rrr' sound? XD Wasn't so great when my head started spinning and I nearly tripped over my own two feet. I quick let her slide off so I didn't drop her, and started staggering around after she was safely on the ground. Just as my knees buckled, Jazz caught me with a servo, already freaking out. I was damn close to passing out, and Bee wasn't helping when he found me wheezing out a death wheeze and gasping like a beached fish in Jazz's servo.**)**

**309. A harsh, goose-like honking sound _also_ means something is very wrong.**

**(**Foxy: Me again. Jazz thought I was coughing like that to be funny, at first. I think it was when I tripped over a chair that he realized it was serious, and started freaking out. Turns out, standing out in the rain for three hours talking to cows leads to bronchitis.**)**

**310. Being dizzy is only fun if you cause it purposely.**

**(**Foxy: Guess who this time? *points to self* The good news is, I did avoid everything except Jazz. I tripped over his foot and landed on it. After that, I gave up with trying to move under my own power while my head was spinning.**)**

**311. Laryngitis is hilarious.**

**(**Foxy: For Jazz, anyway. Ratchet says that I sound like Jazz, and I say that I sound like Johnny Cash. XDXDXD Once Jazz found out, he kept making me talk just to hear it. He'll even mock me when my voice breaks if I get mad at him, it's horrible. *pouts***)**

**(**Prowl: *reads the description, then looks to Foxy* That's why you've been so quiet?**)**

**(**Foxy: *nods***)**

**312. LEGOs are not my friends.**

**(**Foxy: I can make a rectangular tube, and squares. XD That's it. If the kids feel like playing with LEGOs, they run to Ratchet. I swear, the mech's some sort of funky LEGO guru or something. He gets all these towers, ships, planes, cars, you name it, he's probably made it for them. He even made a whole city once. He said it was modeled after Iacon on Cybertron. It was really pretty, even the kids liked it. It's sitting up in my loft, still put together. I couldn't bear to let the kids dismantle it, and it's incredible to use to imagine Cybertronians living on their home planet. *smile***)**

**313. Barricade enjoys Burnout 3.**

**(**Foxy: It's a PS2 game. His favorite's the 'CRASH' section of the game. If you're not familiar with it, the objective is to choose a vehicle, get a speed boost, then send your vehicle flying into traffic, collecting bonuses and getting as many vehicles as possible to wreck. The more you get, the more money you get, plus the bonuses. The more money you get, the closer you get to unlocking a vehicle you can use. I think he just likes it because of the destruction. XD**)**

**314. Humans, especially Foxy, have a variety of sounds.**

**(**Foxy: I know I get this funky groan-moan-sigh thing going if I find a comfortable spot to stretch out and doze off in. XD I get a goose-honk when I laugh sometimes, other times it sounds like a hyena, a chimp, or a whinnying horse. XD I've wheezed like a dying engine in Rule 306, and brayed like a donkey while I had laryngitis. XD**)**

**315. No quotin-SQUIRREL!**

**(**Prowl: *sends Foxy an unamused look***)**

**(**Foxy: *staring off into space intently***)**

**(**Prowl: *sighs* Heel, Foxy.**)**

**(**Foxy: *blinks* Huh?**)**

**(**Prowl: *rolls optics* No quoting 'UP', as she has just done. Not only is it initially alarming, but it gets tiresome rather quickly.**)**

**(**Foxy: *staring into space while looking at Prowl* Find the scent, my compadres, and you too shall have much rewardings from Master for the toil factor you wage.**)**

**(**Prowl: *staring back at Foxy* … *coms Ratchet* ...Foxy, when was the last time you've had a mental exam?**)**

**(**Foxy: *still staring at Prowl eerily* His fool's errand will keep him most occupied, most occupied indeed! *laughs* Do you not agree with that which I am saying to you now?**)**

**(**Prowl: *blinks, stares at her, then blinks again* … Possibly? *coms Ratchet to come get Foxy _now_***)**

**316. Foxy, do not kill every squirrel you see.**

**(**Foxy: I hate squirrels!**)**

**(**Ratchet: That doesn't mean you kill them. You don't use them as a food source, you just pursue and attack them. Stop killing them if you have no use for them.**)**

**(**Foxy: I'm stockpiling.**)**

**(**Ratchet: Stockpiling what?! Animal carcasses?!**)**

**(**Foxy: Yes, actually. That's why my freezer's full of dead, mutilated squirrels. I'm gonna put them in Galloway's car, they're gonna thaw, then start smelling something awful. Besides, nothing says 'I hate your entire existence' like a car full of dead, rancid-smelling squirrel carcasses. ^^**)**

**(**Ratchet: Sometimes you truly disturb me, Foxy.**)**

**317. Ironhide and baths don't mix.**

**(**Foxy: He'll do anything to avoid them. If that means having an all-day weapons training session on the day he's supposed to get one, then so be it. XD**)**

**318. Dora freaks the 'Bots out.**

**(**Foxy: Daulton and Dexter, the two youngest of my kids, were watching it while I was reading a book, and Bee came in. He took one look at the screen, and the effect was instantaneous. His wings drooped, his shoulderbolts drooped, and he crept out of the hangar-backwards, while still staring the screen down. I went to go find out what was wrong, but all I got out of him was horror-movie music. XD They're all terrified of her, Bee especially, but I can't figure out why. Maybe it's her stare?**)**

**319. Barney freaks them out too.**

**(**Foxy: I told them that one of the actors in the suit hid drugs in the tail, when my kids weren't around, of course, and the next day Barney was banned. XD I think they wanted to ban him earlier, because of something Sideswipe did. How he didn't get his interfacing equipment cut off, I'll never know. Not even I'd do what he did. He burst into the medbay, bear-hugged Ratchet, then started singing the song with this freaky demented grin on his face. XD I'm glad I was in the medbay visiting when it happened, because I couldn't breathe I laughed so hard. Ratchet's wrenches got their chance to really bring the pain that day. Sides is still in the medbay, even though it's been three months. His chances of survival drop the longer he's in there. *evil laugh***)**

**320. Prowl is not Marvin the Martian, Ratchet is not Elmer Fudd, Bumblebee is not Bugs Bunny, Jazz is not The Roadrunner, Hound is not Foghorn Leghorn, Ironhide is not Yosemite Sam, Sideswipe is not Daffy Duck, Jolt is not Tweety Bird, Mirage is not Sylvester, and Optimus is not the Granny. Megatron is, however, Wile E. Coyote.**

**(**Foxy: The things I get up to when I'm drunk. XD Prowl does sort of sound like Marvin the Martian, and Jazz is quick like the Roadrunner, Ironhide's temper reminds me of Yosemite Sam's, Sides pulls stupid shit like Daffy, and as for the rest… that must've been the beer, because none of the others are like the characters I compared them to. Except for Megatron, of course. XD**)**

**321. No getting filthy after getting a wash.**

**(**Foxy: I'm not the only one guilty of this, surprisingly. Ironhide does it too. XD I can't seem to help it though. I grew up in a dusty, dirty environment, and it's what I'm used to.**)**

**322. If you lay too close to a fire, you _will_ get burned.**

**(**Ratchet: Foxy, at least leave a foot of space between yourself and the flames.**)**

**(**Foxy: I can't help it! They're warm, I'm cold, and none of you agreed to hold me. *pout***)**

**Hello, everyone! Majorly sorry for no update on Wendsday, Carrier was being evil and said I couldn't screw around until I looked for a job. :/ Meaner. koekiemonster, I'm glad you like it! But I wish you had an account so I could comment back and forth with you... :( serenabishop97, I've added it in! I think you'll find that Foxy isn't quite the... usual... energetic OC when given those two ingredients. XDXDXD *evil laughter* Thanks for the suggestion my friend, I'm starting to wonder what I'd be like on the two of those...?**


	17. Chapter 17

**323. Foxy enjoys reading newspapers.**

**(**Foxy: They laugh at me for it, but I don't care. It's interesting! Jazz always thinks it's drop-dead hilarious when I peer at him over not only the paper, but my glasses while I'm reading it. XD I swear he comes in just to see that look, even though he asks me every morning if I've gotten the paper yet. Gee, I dunno. Does it look like I got the paper yet? My loveable idiot. XD Ratchet'll laugh at me too, especially if I give him my patented 'I'm busy doing something, hurry up with your inquiry before I grow bored' look. He tells me that whenever I do that I look like 'Kup', whoever that 'Bot is. *shrugs***)**

**(**Prowl: Kup was one of the oldest Autobots in our ranks.**)**

**(**Foxy: *blank expression*... What?**)**

**(**Prowl: Yes.**)**

**(**Foxy: ...Ratchet called me old?**)**

**(**Prowl: *wings twitch in slight panic* I… possibly?**)**

**(**Foxy: Thank you, Prowl. *gets up and heads for the door***)**

**(**Prowl: *coms Ratchet to alert him to Foxy's destination***)**

**324. Sunny hates clay.**

**(**Sunny: Don't call me that! It's Sun_streaker_ to you fleshies!**)**

**(**Foxy: All right, all right. I'm sorry. *waits for him to leave, then whispers* I'm sorry that you caught me, Miss Diva-priss. XD Anyway, he likes art, so I thought I'd get the brilliant idea to see if he likes to sculpt things. I got a whole shitton of art clay, and presented it to him in one of the unused hangars. He looked at it, then at me, and I could tell he didn't get it. I told him humans used it for sculpting, and his optics 'lit up'. It was a little weird, I've never really seen any other emotion out of him other then male-PMSing. Anyway, since I'm no good at sculpting, I let him have at it. He liked it… for all of three minutes. Then, he started complaining that it was too goopy and getting everywhere, and it was then that it happened. He realized that he was covered in what's essentially dirt, mud, earth, whatever you wanna call it. He got uber-pissed, at least it looked like it, and he looked from me to his servos and front, which were covered in clay. What's he do? Calmly try to get it off? No. He takes a huge servoful from the chunk he'd been working on, then throws it at me. It bowled me over, and before I could even get up, he started working it into my hair, my clothes, everywhere. When he looked satisfied, he gave me a snarl, then left. It's been three days, and I'm still shedding dried pieces of clay from my hair. XD It's like no matter what I do, the shit don't come out!**)**

**325. Car magazines are not 'Bot porn.**

**(**Foxy:.. Then why did I find a stash under Jazz's berth? And why did he look so freaked out by me looking through them? They were really cool! Some of them were even circled, those ones were pretty sweet-looking. He had the Porsche 918 Spyder circled, and _daaaaamn_, that's a car. Another one he had circled was the Aston Martin Vanquish. Uff. *grins***)**

**(**Prowl: *looking at her strangely***)**

**(**Foxy: What? They've got supercars that're police vehicles too, those are even better. I think Germany or some country just recently said they were going to use Porsches for their police force, they're real nice. *grins* Police Ferraris, Police Lamborghinis, guhhh… *stupid grin* They're fabulous. Now, if the government would do the same thing, then we'd have something to talk about. But alas, is not meant to be. Bye, Prowl. Me and Jazz were gonna go watch SVU. *hops off her chair, then leaves the room***)**

**(**Prowl: *waits for a few minutes to see if she's coming back, then begins looking up 'police supercars'***)**

**326. Foxy, you cannot play an organ properly.**

**(**Foxy: Can too, Prowl!**)**

**(**Prowl: The 'Jaws Theme' does not qualify.**)**

**(**Foxy: Does too. *pout***)**

**(**Prowl: Not necessarily. *pulls a pipe organ out of nowhere, then begins playing Bach's Toccata and Fugue***)**

**(**Foxy: *mouthes 'WTF?' while watching Prowl in awe* *jawdrop* Prowl… *raises hands in surrender* I quit, I'm done, I just… I'm not worthy. *bows down***)**

**327. Foxy, chasing a rabbit is not playing with it.**

**(**Foxy: It is too, they run don't they?**)**

**(**Prowl: The reason they run is due to you being a perceived threat.**)**

**(**Foxy: I'd never hurt a bunny! Catch one, definitely, but I always let them go. I'm not a big fan of rabbit. Deer's much tastier.**)**

**328. Do _not_ touch roadkill.**

**(**Foxy: There was a dead coyote on the side of the road by Lennox's place, and seeing it gave me ideas. The tail was still intact, and I knew it would be adequate for throwing at Galloway. XD So, without further ado, I donned a pair of gloves then went out to get it. Unfortunately, Bee came to get me just as I was stuffing the body into a garbage bag. I explained to him what I wanted it for and what it was, so he wouldn't question why I was putting a dead body in a bag, although he still looked pretty horrified. I thought he'd glitch when I used my hologram to put the bag in my trunk. I got to base with it, where Ratchet promptly told me to get rid of it, and that I wasn't allowed to bring dead animals on base anymore. XD**)**

**(**Jazz: She gave tha' thing a 'Viking funeral', whatever the Pit tha' means. Sent it out on some tiny little boat, 'en she told 'Hide ta shoot it.**)**

**329. Monopoly isn't for the 'Bots.**

**(**Foxy: I just wanted a nice game during a lull in the Decepticon sightings, okay? I got Jazz, Bee and Ratchet to agree to play, and after much begging I got Prowl to agree to go a game. When everything was set up with me as the banker, we started playing, and I thought it would turn out good. And it did, for about three minutes of actual gameplay. Ratchet started asking why we weren't playing with real money in place of the 'pathetic slagging pieces of paper failing at imitating Earth's credits'. Even worse was when Prowl agreed with him, and _insisted_ that we get real money to play with. I asked the two of them who was going to get the amount of real money that we needed from the national treasury, and both of them went quiet. While I was explaining that an amount of money that large would look suspicious, Jazz took the opportunity to rob the banker, then share the spoils with Bee. I wouldn't have even known they did anything if Bee hadn't been giggling. XD When I asked him what he did, he tried to pull the 'I'm completely innocent' act, even though it didn't work. Eventually, me and the game were passed over for a paper money fight between Jazz and Bee while Ratchet and Prowl started trying to see how much money it would take to recreate a 'real' Monopoly game, using real money. I looked at the chaos, sighed, then rested my head on the table. I heard Bee go 'Ow! I gotta paper cut!' in this really whiny voice, then Jazz snickering, and I sighed again. Sometimes we really are toddlers.**)**

**330. Twister is a dangerous game.**

**(**Foxy:...You know what? Why do I bother with these game nights? They always go to hell anyway. XD This time it was me, Sides, Bee, and Jazz. Blue was our 'spinner', since he wanted to play and there were only enough spaces for the four of us around the edge. The 'Bots were using their holograms, and in seconds it was clear that they're _fiercely_ competitive. 'Right hand green', Sides' hand shot between my legs to steal my space. He surprised me, and at this point I was bent over Bee's back, had one of my legs slung over Jazz's so my toes touched 'left foot red', so I swayed and my right hand shot out. Shockingly, I landed it on a free green space. XD Next was 'left hand blue', and Bee knocked my hand aside. Bugger. I went under his arm, stretched out across the mat like a friggin' cat, and it wasn't very comfortable. I was _two inches_ from being out. Then, as if that weren't bad enough, someone's friggin' _skull_ came crashing into my ass! I yelped, crashed into Bee, who crashed into Jazz, who crashed into me... Long story short, someone's face met my ass that night. It wasn't Jazz, wither. Whoever it was, they haven't complained yet, so we'll see. ;P**)**

**331. Foxy loves tennis.**

**(**Foxy: Sure do! Prowl doesn't though.**)**

**(**Prowl: You kept swatting the ball off my armor if I displeased you.**)**

**(**Foxy: You make a good rebounder, Prowl.**)**

**332. No, we cannot have 'wardrobe malfunctions', Foxy.**

**(**Foxy: *shrugs* Had to ask. Wasn't sure if you guys got wedgies or not.**)**

**333. Foxy enjoys Blackjack.**

**(**Foxy: And WAR too. ^^**)**

**(**Prowl: Both games keep you quiet, therefore they are encouraged.**)**

**334. No mud-wrestling.**

**(**Foxy:... Not even I'm sure how this one happened. One minute I'm driving behind Bee in Alabama for a scouting mission, then the next I'm smushing mud on his chest plate while he's got me in a headlock and shoving me facefirst into the mud. XD We were finished in a few minutes-Bee won- but we were both filthy. I commed Optimus to report that we'd seen nothing, and that we were going to explore the area a little further. What I _didn't_ tell him was that me and Bee were going to go another round in a really gnarly swamp I'd found while on patrol. XD I commed Jazz, acting like I'd found a really cool tree I wanted him to see, and I could hear him rolling his optics before he agreed to come out. As soon as he got to our temporary sparring ring, I gave him a grin, completely covered in mud. He asked me where the tree was, and I yanked him into the mud with us as a response. XD He ate so much mud. XDXDXD Prowl and Ratchet yelled at us when we got back though.**)**

**335. Ice is slippery.**

**(**Foxy: XD Yup. I took two steps out of the New Jersey base and promptly busted my ass. It hurt, but Jazz and Bee laughing at me hurt worse. At least, until Jazz went to come get me and nearly fell himself. XD Then I laughed. Extremely hard, while still sitting on the ice from my fall. He punted me lightly with a foot and I slid a good ten feet. Eventually, I was able to stand up, and I coaxed Bee to come join us. Poor 'Bot was doing good until he tried walking normally. Then his feet flew out from underneath him, and he did exactly what I did: Landed painfully on his aft. I went to go help him, but I ended up in a pretty-spectacular slip with my feet and arms flying wildly before I finally landed on my front and glided the rest of the way to one of Bee's feet. XD Jazz laughed even harder at the both of us, and as payback I didn't tell him Ironhide was sliding in his direction. XD Jazz got _mowed down_ by 'Hide, it was hilarious! It got even better when Prowl came charging out to see what all the noise was about. He took one step onto the ice, and _BOOM_. Faceplant. XDXDXD I asked him how the ice tasted afterwards. XD Everybody except Prowl just about pissed themselves when I said that.**)**

**336. Don't help Galloway make an idiot of himself. He can do that on his own.**

**(**Foxy: The old 'banana-peel-slip' gag. I didn't think it would work, tell ya the truth. But, oh, boy did it! Jazz and me were trying to hide our giggles. XD**)**

**337. No, soap bubbles are not supposed to issue from a human's mouth. Ever.**

**(**Foxy: It was just a trick to amuse the kids, don't panic. Jazz thought it was hilarious because every time I'd hiccup, I'd 'spew' bubbles. XD The kids loved it too, and we amused ourselves for three hours, until Ratchet showed up. I let loose a giant fake hiccup, and blew this super-massive bubble to go with it. My back was to Ratchet, so he really thought I was hiccuping bubbles. XD He promptly freaked, telling Jazz that it wasn't funny and that humans weren't supposed to do that. Jazz started freaking too, at least until I proved that it wasn't real. After the whole scare was over, Ratchet told me he thought I'd swallowed a whole bar of soap, like in those Tom and Jerry episodes. XD I pulled the same stunt on Prowl a week later and he glitched. XDXDXD**)**

**338. Bubbles are the easiest way to keep children and Foxy entertained.**

**(**Foxy: And the 'Bots, too. XD I got Bee to try it, and lemme tell you, it was funny watching him try to hold a teeny-tiny bubble wand between two fingers. XD Unfortunately, his first twenty or so fell flat, literally. I showed him how to blow into the wand _gently_, so the bubble didn't pop right there. It took him fifteen minutes to get it, but when he did… good shit. The bubble he blew… it was massive. The kids call him 'The King of Bubbles' now. XD**)**

**(**Bee: *poking Foxy inquiringly with the bubble wand* *chirps* _Pretty please with sugar on top?_**)**

**(**Foxy: *grins* Sure, 'King of Bubbles'.**)**

**339. The Autobot-sized couches make perfect trampolines.**

**(**Foxy: I started this. Figured it out the one day, then got the kids into it. Prowl yelled at us, but I didn't care. Then Jazz saw us. I could see his processor figuring out what we were doing while he stood there watching us, taking in the sight of me bouncing ten feet into the air. The next thing I knew, Jazz was bouncing with us. XD Not with his hologram, either. *grins* We're such five-year-olds. The sight of a millions-of-years-old Cybertronian saboteur jumping on an oversized couch like a disobedient kid, shouting nonsense, laughing, and generally raising hell, is sooo worth meeting the Autobots over. It was absolutely adorable. Then Bee joined in, and it got even cuter. ^^**)**

**340. No hallucinogenics.**

**(**Foxy: This is my own personal rule. Haven't ever touched that shit, and that's not changing anytime soon. The 'Bots are another story. There's a reason they hate new air fresheners. XD I didn't know of this reason when I sneakily hung one in Prowl's interior one night while he was recharging, figuring that they hated them because they were a mere nuisance. He really freaked me out the next morning when he was staggering everywhere, and his wings were twitching all over the place, I thought it was messing with his equilibrium or something. It wasn't until he half-mumbled, half-asked about 'the nice-smelling cows' that popped up in front of him that I realized that the air freshener I'd given him carried the scent of 'Freshly Tanned Leather', or cowhide. XD I was trying to hold my laughter back for his sake, but it was hard when I told him to sit down and pet the cows. He _plopped_ down, and one of his servos started moving, like he was really petting it. XD I commed Ratchet to come to Prowl's quarters ASAP, but I couldn't say any more without busting a gut laughing. XD**)**

**341. We do not need over-sized 'slippers', Foxy.**

**(**Foxy: Prowl, boredom is a thing of insanity. I lose my mind if I've been bored for too long. Hence, the cute little bumblebee slippers I made Bee. Bee loves them. XD He shows them off to Sam every time the dude visits. XD I think Sam's starting to get jealous.**)**

**342. When irritated with Ratchet, do _not_ throw an empty water/Gatorade bottle at him. You'll be lucky to escape the medbay with bruising.**

**(**Foxy:...Not one of my brighter ideas. He pissed me off, the closest thing in my reach was a Gatorade bottle, and I wound up. It hit the back of his helm with a solid-sounding 'klunk', and he froze. It was at that point that I realized I'd done something stupid. Very, very, very stupid. I proceeded to run as fast as I possibly can, screaming at the top of my lungs. Over my screams, I could hear a very-Ratchetish, very _angry_ roar, and that just made me want to run even longer, in the hopes that I'd be saved from my untimely demise. Me and my stupid brain.**)**

**Hi, everyone! I'm sorry, my muse left me for a while. :/ Remember, I take suggestions for rules and for one-shots you'd like to see based on these rules! Ciao! ;)**


	18. Chapter 18

**343. Megatron is not Dr. Evil.**

**(**Foxy: It just popped out. XD Long story short, I was ranting and cursing out Dr. Evil for making nice at the end of the third Austin Powers movie, because it means no more sequels, and somehow, someway, I managed to bring Megatron's name into the fray. XD Jazz, who'd been watching the movie with me, recorded the entire thing, sure that something hilarious would pop out of my mouth during the rant. He definitely didn't expect that something to be 'Megatron's such a-a-a Dr. Evil!' and to come up right in the middle of my rant, because he promptly fell off the couch, chortling. He insisted Bee listen to my 'latest rant' as he put it, and now the two of them call Mega-fart Dr. Evil to make fun of me. XD**)**

**344. Only some 'Bots get freaked out by horror movies.**

**(**Foxy: Bee, Blue, Sides and Sunny, Red Alert, Prowl, and even… Bossbot. The rest just don't get them. XD I tried watching Pet Sematary with Ratchet, he just commented on the improbability of dead animals being brought back to life by an ancient burial ground. -_- The part with the college guy that died on the stretcher freaked him out a little though, probably because he's a medic. I felt bad afterwards because he holed himself up in his medbay for the rest of the day. Sorry, Ratch.**)**

**345. Just because Foxy has a high pain tolerance does not mean purposely hurting her is acceptable.**

**(**Foxy: Sides, when I get out of the medbay, you're fucked. Mark my words. When I'm out, get ready to be reformatted into a gigantic pile of robot feces! *snarl***)**

**(**Jazz: 'M helpin' er. *growl***)**

**346. Barricade, stop messing with Foxy's mind.**

**(**Foxy: 'Cade, you're an asshole. I'd go to sleep in my quarters, then wake up somewhere completely different, sometimes in a different freaking hangar! Fucker even put me in one of Prowl's desk drawers! I remember waking up in pitch darkness and being unable to find my way out, so I started shouting for help. I can only imagine Prowl's face when he found me in there. XD He got me out, but two weeks later I woke up in that same familiar setting! Dammit, 'Cade! I started shouting for Prowl again, but the 'Bot that opened the drawer wasn't Prowl. It was Optimus. How the hell Barricade managed to get me into Bossbot's office undetected, I'll never know. Optimus looked pretty surprised to see me, and I can honestly say I felt the same way. I didn't tell anyone, but the look of baffled confusion Bossbot was wearing when he peeked in at me _was_ pretty funny. ^^**)**

**347. No, Foxy's slippers do not squeak.**

**(**Foxy: *laughs* The only reason this is a rule is so Bee will finally stop poking my slippers. Granted, I get where he's coming from. They're fuzzy brown puppy dogs, and they've got gigantic noses, it really does look like they squeak. I hated having to tell him they didn't, he looked sparkbroken. *whispers* Don't tell Bee, but I'm making myself an identical pair, this time with squeakers in them. ^^**)**

**348. No porcelain dolls. **

**(**Prowl: Foxy is _petrified_ of them. *looks down at Foxy, shaking and huddling on his lap* *sighs* Sideswipe, why are you showing me this?**)**

**(**Sides: Because, look how cool! These things would totally freak out the Decepticons!**)**

**(**Prowl: And why do you have one of those in the first place?**)**

**(**Sides: This one's Anna's, she let me borrow it when I got my idea.**)**

**349. If you want to see the inside of a computer, tell Foxy that it doesn't work.**

**(**Foxy: I don't just fix vehicles, y'know. I also do tv's, computers, and phones. ^^ I managed to fix a power outage on base once, too. At least we don't need to keep swearing handymen to secrecy with me around. XD**)**

**350. Sideswipe, Foxy can and will rig your radio to play nothing but 'Barbie Girl' if you piss her off.**

**(**Foxy: Mikaela's right, Sides. I'd suggest being thankful that's all I'm gonna do. For starters, at least.**)**

**351. Foxy's music changes as quickly as her moods.**

**(**Foxy: I can be listening to 'Ode To Joy', or 'The Blue Danube', or other classical stuff, then with one song change I'll be headbanging to Metallica's 'Enter Sandman'. XD Some 'Bots try to figure out what mood I'm in by what type of music I'm listening to. XD Sad to say, they're usually pretty accurate.**)**

**352. **'**Mundane' is not on the list of words to describe Foxy.**

**(**Foxy: If you seriously think _I'm_ mundane, then you're even more messed up then I am, sorry to tell you.**)**

**353. Sideswipe, if you coat me in glue and dump those dyed feathers all over me again, I'll reformat you into a femme. PERMANENTLY.**

**(**Foxy: He used pink feathers. _PINK._ I wouldn't have minded so much if they were green, or blue, or even red, but no. He had to choose _pink_. I'm gonna paint 'im pink, then I'm-I'm gonna coat 'im in pink glitter glue, then I'm gonna coat 'im in pink feathers. Fucker messed with me for the last time. I'm gonna change his voice to a femme's, and I'm gonna tell Ratchet not to fix it.**)**

**(**Jazz: 'Er accent's comin' in. Sides, y'really slagged 'er off, dude. Y'better start runnin'.**)**

**354. Foxy is rarely irritated to the point where she goes off on her own. Do _not_ go searching for her unless it is absolutely necessary. She will return after her anger fades, usually in a few hours.**

**(**Foxy: This rule is to protect _you_, not me. If you choose not to follow this rule, you and whoever started the entire thing in the first place wouldn't even wish me on Unicron. Hell, you'll wish Unicron could save you. If I'm pissed off enough to leave, that should tell you something very important.**)**

**355. Cold is not enjoyable.**

**(**Foxy: Give me an arid desert any day. Much better then a frozen tundra-I'm sorry, New York in the winter. We'd gotten a Decepticon sighting in January, the freakin' middle of winter! I actually dreaded getting up every morning! There wasn't even any snow, just miserable cold. It sucked! Ratchet made me wear six coats over my usual sweatshirt, three hats, and six pairs of socks. In the end, I was _still_ cold, and I was even more miserable because I wouldn't move. XD Jazz made fun of me for it, saying that all that stuff weighed more then I did. *pout* I was too cold and miserable to even attempt a retort. At least he eventually took pity on me and let me ride with him on patrols, with his heat cranked. I gave Starscream a lesson that you don't _ever_ drag me out in cold like that without getting your shit fucked up. I made sure he fears me more then Megatron, the damn prick. I _also_ made sure that he'll be out of commission for a very, very long time. Asshole.**)**

**(**Prowl: *blinks at her in slight surprise* That was why you attacked him so savagely?**)**

**(**Foxy: He's gonna drag my skin-and-bones self out in cold that bad, he's gonna learn to never do it again.**)**

**356. Foxy is not a mouse. She is not capable of completing a replication of the maze used for testing their processors.**

**(**Prowl: Hello, humans. Foxy is currently still lost in the maze. Sideswipe posed the idea that we test how intelligent she truly is, placing a plate of her favorite meal at the finish, and placing her at the start. That was two hours ago. *chuckles a little***)**

**357. I will go out of my way to stomp on a crunchy-looking leaf.**

**(**Foxy: Jazz laughs at me for it, but I've seen him do it too, when he thinks I'm not looking. XD**)**

**358. Sideswipe...Get out of the fountain.**

**(**Foxy: This is what happens when us younger 'Bots ingest high-grade and go out for a drive. XD Sides found a pond with a fountain in the center, and before even asking me why it was in there, he jumped right in. XD At least, that's what the recording I apparently sent to Jazz says happened. XD The grin on Sides' face while he's sitting under the spray is hysterical. I've seen it no less then fifty times now, and it still hasn't gotten any less funny. XDXDXD**)**

**359. Bumblebee likes frogs. Prowl does not.**

**(**Foxy: Sides had the brilliant plan to fill Prowl's desk drawers with them. Prowl opened a random one, screamed, then ran from his office. XD**)**

**(**Sides: *sarcasm* *giant grin* Too bad we were laughing too hard to help. It's a real shame.**)**

**360. Do not lean backwards in a chair.**

**(**Foxy: I warn Sides and Jazz about doing this constantly, but they don't listen to me. I eventually stopped trying one day, and what happens? I hear a shriek, then a crash. XD Running into the room the noise came from, I found Sides on the floor with the chair on top of him. XD One giant 'I told you so' moment.**)**

**361. Foxy does not do well on trains.**

**(**Foxy: Same problem as boats, paranoid that something bad'll happen. That, and it takes _forever_ to get where we were going. We'd gotten wind that one of Soundwave's cassettes were hidden in the baggage compartments somewhere, so I needed to go undercover in my fox form. That meant coaxing me into a tiny space that I couldn't escape from, then shutting me in pitch darkness for a prolonged period of time. *shudders* I'm just glad Ratchet thought to sedate me, otherwise I would've been off that damn train, and fast. I'm not so glad that it wore off in the middle of the trip. I was too busy trying not to scream to notice that even though Bee was supposed to retrieve my cage, it was Ratchet that did instead. I was just happy to be off that train and out of the cage, so I… might've… started cuddling with the medic's hologram? Oops. And when I cuddle, I full-on _cuddle_. XD He's using what he called me during then as blackmail. XDXDXD**)**

**362. Throwing eggs at houses is _not_ allowed.**

**(**Foxy: Nice job, Sideswipe… You missed Lennox's house and hit Ironhide. Say hello to a cannon being shoved up your aft.**)**

**Hello, everyone! :) Remember, I do take suggestions, funny ideas, whatever! Now that I've said that, let's get to the reviews! koekiemonster, I'm glad you're enjoying it so much, that's what I live for! To make people laugh! :D You really need to get an account, friend. I'm telling you, it's a great thing to have. There's tons of other rules lists for Transformers, I researched my topic thoroughly. :P Next up is Stellar Spark, a guest! Hello, and welcome to the insanity! I _love_ that idea! I may just do a little 'borrowing' with that for a one-shot... *wink wink* Wonderful idea! Oh, and I've had a favorite, too! Thank you very much, WhiteWolfWoman, for favoriting my story! I hope you enjoy it!**

**Author: Pssst, do you guys wanna know what Ratchet called Foxy in rule 361?**

**Foxy: Don't you dare! You said you wouldn't tell anyone!**

**Author: _Ratchet_ said that he wouldn't tell. Me, on the other hand... I said nothing of the sort.**

**Foxy: I'm begging you, please don't-**

**Author: He called her a Snugglepuss Cuddlekins. XDXDXDXD**


End file.
